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Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

#15149295
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38235) - you deserved it (3216)

On 02/28/2011 at 6:21am - love - by misswhiskers (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML

#14651600
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35518) - you deserved it (15200)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:37pm - love - by Bethany (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML

#15067596
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39527) - you deserved it (3268)

On 02/21/2011 at 5:20pm - misc - by thissucks - United States (California)

Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML

#16606089
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30252) - you deserved it (3339)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:37am - intimacy - by dadisgoatboy - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, while trying to prove a point to my mom, I learned that bird seed tastes better than her cooking. FML

#18765648
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24664) - you deserved it (3508)

On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by NJ <3 - United States

Today, the lease on my house ended and I finished moving in with my girlfriend. After everything was moved in, she broke up with me. Hello homelessness. FML

#15997436
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41690) - you deserved it (4017)

On 04/30/2011 at 11:16pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

#17530831
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26831) - you deserved it (5321)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, everyone in my house has a horrible stomach flu. My two toddler nephews don't understand that they need to throw up in the bathroom, so they just blow chunks everywhere. I have to clean it up, while trying not to do the same. FML

Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML

#20031862
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22717) - you deserved it (1605)

On 08/20/2012 at 12:31pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

#20017932
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23512) - you deserved it (3059)

On 08/13/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by burnt (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

#20182568
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26709) - you deserved it (2258)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm - health - by williebees - United States (Texas)

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

#20417111
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32122) - you deserved it (4538)

On 12/23/2012 at 8:03pm - animals - by Christmas sucks - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I realized I'm so lonely that I get comfort from hearing my neighbor snore through my apartment wall. FML



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