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Today, due to a misunderstanding, I unintentionally agreed to have a dinner date with a co-worker. He's ten years older than me. Not only do I have to find a way to reject him, but I have to work with him on weekends. The worst part is, he's the first guy to ask me out in ages. FML

#17552222
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20989) - you deserved it (5826)

On 08/22/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by Moron (woman) - Canada

Today, I was in the ER where I work as a registrar. A patient received a plastic urinal to use in his room. Most patients throw them away when they leave. He, however, decided to take it with him, and as he checked out, put it on the registration counter. Two feet from my face. It was used. FML

#17845071
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21115) - you deserved it (2394)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:18am - work - by CathyM - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend decided to piss in the shower while I was standing next to him. I did not mind, until I realised the water flows away incredibly slowly. I had to stand in his piss while the shower filled itself with the sweet odor of fresh urine. FML

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

#20058791
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22349) - you deserved it (3344)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Scholar - United States

Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML

#18499022
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21970) - you deserved it (5681)

On 12/12/2011 at 10:47pm - health - by CessnaPilot - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19421) - you deserved it (3400)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML

#19416398
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19523) - you deserved it (2192)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:09am - work - by mockable (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a flight home. I wasn't going to arrive until midnight, so I was offered an earlier flight that got back at ten. I got to baggage claims and it turned out they lost my bag. I sat there for 2 hours. The people on my original flight left for home before I did. FML

#16733710
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27921) - you deserved it (3375)

On 06/18/2011 at 7:54pm - misc - by me - United States (Colorado)

Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML

#19079186
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18005) - you deserved it (7445)

On 02/14/2012 at 8:26pm - health - by no tp (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I needed to buy a new helmet. When I got to the sport shop, there was only one left in my size and preferred color. 30 minutes after buying it, my head starts itching. Turns out I paid $40 for lice. FML

#19319273
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24685) - you deserved it (2029)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML

#19656678
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8022) - you deserved it (38732)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by whytoday -

Today, 30 minutes before I was supposed to quit work at 6pm, my boss showed up. After telling him how the day went, he asked why I was still there. Apparently, for the holiday, we close early. 4 hours earlier. FML

#16981482
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23973) - you deserved it (6832)

On 07/05/2011 at 1:34am - work - by worksucker - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to share a car with my dad and stepmother. My stepmother managed to get hammered at lunch and spent the hour-long car trip drunkenly mistaking the heating controls for the radio. FML

#18599124
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19499) - you deserved it (1978)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:04pm - misc - by ambled - United States (Pennsylvania)



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