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Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

#20060052
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22121) - you deserved it (8268)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:38am - misc - by juliannamelissa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML

#20086255
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17353) - you deserved it (2017)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:18am - health - by AnxietyGirl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

#20036934
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17880) - you deserved it (12135)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:15am - work - by ihatemondays - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

#20047299
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21053) - you deserved it (2564)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:52am - money - by anon - United States (Maine)

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

#20145539
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8322) - you deserved it (29296)

On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

#20134961
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12360) - you deserved it (56892)

On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)

Today, I kissed a boy for the first time in over a year. It was at drama club practice, and he quickly ended up asking the director if we could remove that scene from the play. FML

#20114767
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20611) - you deserved it (2247)

On 10/13/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by pinkfreak94 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18271) - you deserved it (1440)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML

#20119674
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16932) - you deserved it (6059)

On 10/16/2012 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41242) - you deserved it (7961)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (4005)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25645) - you deserved it (4608)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML

#20466782
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26479) - you deserved it (14115)

On 01/18/2013 at 7:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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