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Today, it's my birthday. I've been dropping strong hints all year about wanting to learn to tap-dance, hoping for some decent tap shoes. Instead, I got a beekeepers outfit and some furry dice to hang on my wreck of a car's rear-view mirror. FML

#17619840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20721) - you deserved it (3507)

On 08/30/2011 at 8:16am - misc - by wtf (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML

#16080976
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24584) - you deserved it (4460)

On 05/07/2011 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML

#15712645
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (2669)

On 04/09/2011 at 6:29pm - misc - by Z (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was at a concert. It was dark and everyone was singing and waving their lit-up phones in the air. I was having a great time, until someone snatched my £200 phone out of my hand. FML

#20016571
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18879) - you deserved it (10276)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML

#16654852
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29675) - you deserved it (3438)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:10am - misc - by chris - United States

Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML

#18334066
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11812) - you deserved it (18001)

On 11/24/2011 at 2:58am - health - by xJade2012x - United States

Today, my boss called me to his office, and played back a recording of me telling a co-worker that if I still worked there in a year, I would hang myself. He then bitched me out for unprofessional conduct. The taped conversation took place over a year ago, with my recently ex-boyfriend. FML

#16487802
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24583) - you deserved it (6869)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:23pm - work - by janice - United States

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

#15788112
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23882) - you deserved it (5449)

On 04/14/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by markyvilla - United States

Today, I was the only passenger on a completely booked flight to have all their luggage left behind in another country. FML

#16592399
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33631) - you deserved it (2866)

On 06/10/2011 at 7:40am - misc - by leftbehind (man) - Colombia (Antioquia)

Today, due to a misunderstanding, I unintentionally agreed to have a dinner date with a co-worker. He's ten years older than me. Not only do I have to find a way to reject him, but I have to work with him on weekends. The worst part is, he's the first guy to ask me out in ages. FML

#17552222
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20987) - you deserved it (5825)

On 08/22/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by Moron (woman) - Canada

Today, my boyfriend decided to piss in the shower while I was standing next to him. I did not mind, until I realised the water flows away incredibly slowly. I had to stand in his piss while the shower filled itself with the sweet odor of fresh urine. FML

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

#20058791
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22349) - you deserved it (3344)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Scholar - United States

Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML

#18499022
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (5681)

On 12/12/2011 at 10:47pm - health - by CessnaPilot - United States (Texas)



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