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Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#14674981
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29062) - you deserved it (4226)

On 01/22/2011 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, it finally became clear to me that before you start dating a co-worker, it's best to figure out who they've already dated from work, just in case one of her exes is your new manager. FML

#18680064
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25392) - you deserved it (7282)

On 01/01/2012 at 10:38pm - work - by Scorned Employee (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

#17694165
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27057) - you deserved it (3098)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents tried to convince me to get a divorce. My wife and I are perfectly fine. FML

#18754644
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30901) - you deserved it (2515)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:08am - love - by rook - United States (Illinois)

Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML

#19762113
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27376) - you deserved it (2631)

On 06/09/2012 at 8:24pm - work - by jeremyj (man) - United States

Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML

#20083501
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11171) - you deserved it (18764)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by pimpdaddyX (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, someone broke into my car by smashing the driver's side window. I'd be less irritated if they had just used the door handle; the lock has been broken for years. FML

#20467580
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31524) - you deserved it (3311)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:14am - money - by Perplexed - United States (South Dakota)

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42293) - you deserved it (3692)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML

#20822176
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53922) - you deserved it (6690)

On 08/05/2013 at 2:33pm - intimacy - by Sexless4Life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to explain to my son why it is not okay to slap old women's butts. He's 16. FML

#20894598
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37444) - you deserved it (4714)

On 09/24/2013 at 5:01pm - kids - by mandm - United States (New York)

Today, I graduated from Basic Training. I was really looking forward to seeing my family after being away for almost three months. They decided not to come to graduation because they didn't want to spend the money to travel here. They live 30 minutes away. FML

#21108820
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54424) - you deserved it (3644)

On 04/09/2014 at 7:47pm - money - by CheapFamily - United States

Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML

#21130965
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45618) - you deserved it (3880)

On 05/04/2014 at 10:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)



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