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Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

#20134961
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12026) - you deserved it (56151)

On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)

Today, I kissed a boy for the first time in over a year. It was at drama club practice, and he quickly ended up asking the director if we could remove that scene from the play. FML

#20114767
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20565) - you deserved it (2243)

On 10/13/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by pinkfreak94 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18230) - you deserved it (1435)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML

#20119674
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16882) - you deserved it (6053)

On 10/16/2012 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got into an accident on my motorcycle. When I told my wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex for two weeks, she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41148) - you deserved it (7958)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

#20438192
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41169) - you deserved it (1948)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML

#20454855
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19220) - you deserved it (39124)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (3999)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25587) - you deserved it (4605)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work at a car dealership, a seemingly overzealous customer shook my hand vigorously after we finalized a deal. I didn't think anything of it until a coworker pointed out that he was just trying to make my breasts jiggle. I'm a man. FML

#20473605
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27629) - you deserved it (5644)

On 01/22/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by milkshake - United States (Texas)

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfish for "choosing" to start my period on his day off from work. FML

#20531170
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50733) - you deserved it (6067)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31209) - you deserved it (5366)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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