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Today, in my karate dojo, I was being taught how to fall properly. My sensei instructed us not to fall with our hands out because it could sprain our wrists. As I was getting ready to help demonstrate a backwards break fall, I actually fell over. Guess where my hands went. FML

#18334066
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11002) - you deserved it (17007)

On 11/24/2011 at 2:58am - health - by xJade2012x - United States

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

#16005260
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24725) - you deserved it (3480)

On 05/01/2011 at 2:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Southland)

Today, my boss called me to his office, and played back a recording of me telling a co-worker that if I still worked there in a year, I would hang myself. He then bitched me out for unprofessional conduct. The taped conversation took place over a year ago, with my recently ex-boyfriend. FML

#16487802
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (6862)

On 06/03/2011 at 7:23pm - work - by janice - United States

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

#15788112
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23798) - you deserved it (5439)

On 04/14/2011 at 9:09pm - misc - by markyvilla - United States

Today, due to a misunderstanding, I unintentionally agreed to have a dinner date with a co-worker. He's ten years older than me. Not only do I have to find a way to reject him, but I have to work with him on weekends. The worst part is, he's the first guy to ask me out in ages. FML

#17552222
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20904) - you deserved it (5816)

On 08/22/2011 at 10:03pm - work - by Moron (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out that my unemployed and very needy mother-in-law will be moving in with us soon. And during my conversation on the phone with her, she expects us to buy a house and my wife and I can "live with her." My wife agrees with all of this. FML

#19523754
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25923) - you deserved it (2304)

On 04/24/2012 at 8:08pm - love - by nofrickenway - United States (Virginia)

Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

#20058791
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (3340)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Scholar - United States

Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML

#18499022
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21874) - you deserved it (5675)

On 12/12/2011 at 10:47pm - health - by CessnaPilot - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (3389)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML

#19416398
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18500) - you deserved it (2099)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:09am - work - by mockable (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a flight home. I wasn't going to arrive until midnight, so I was offered an earlier flight that got back at ten. I got to baggage claims and it turned out they lost my bag. I sat there for 2 hours. The people on my original flight left for home before I did. FML

#16733710
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27842) - you deserved it (3372)

On 06/18/2011 at 7:54pm - misc - by me - United States (Colorado)

Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML

#19079186
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17931) - you deserved it (7435)

On 02/14/2012 at 8:26pm - health - by no tp (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I needed to buy a new helmet. When I got to the sport shop, there was only one left in my size and preferred color. 30 minutes after buying it, my head starts itching. Turns out I paid $40 for lice. FML

#19319273
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24604) - you deserved it (2021)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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