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Today, I went to a BBQ. The night was going well until I had to wrestle car keys away from my intoxicated mother in front of all my friends. FML

#20007077
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19266) - you deserved it (1586)

On 08/07/2012 at 2:16am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

#20150050
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16061) - you deserved it (1655)

On 11/06/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by Unappreciated Grandchild - United States (Maryland)

Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML

#20083501
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9491) - you deserved it (16110)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by pimpdaddyX (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18852) - you deserved it (1448)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

#20060052
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22079) - you deserved it (8263)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:38am - misc - by juliannamelissa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to admit that I desperately need anti-anxiety medication. Apparently, when you walk around a grocery store avoiding eye contact and generally acting "sketchy", management will call the police on you, who will then pat you down to be sure you aren't shoplifting. FML

#20086255
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17332) - you deserved it (2015)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:18am - health - by AnxietyGirl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

#20036934
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17854) - you deserved it (12117)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:15am - work - by ihatemondays - United Kingdom

Today, I was giving a tour of my boat to a man who seemed interested in purchasing it. Everything was going great. That is, until, the motor stopped running in the middle of the ocean. FML

#20047299
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21018) - you deserved it (2560)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:52am - money - by anon - United States (Maine)

Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML

#20145539
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8316) - you deserved it (29253)

On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

#20134961
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12039) - you deserved it (56184)

On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)

Today, I kissed a boy for the first time in over a year. It was at drama club practice, and he quickly ended up asking the director if we could remove that scene from the play. FML

#20114767
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20585) - you deserved it (2246)

On 10/13/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by pinkfreak94 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18249) - you deserved it (1435)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML

#20119674
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16896) - you deserved it (6055)

On 10/16/2012 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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