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Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML

#14114880
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32248) - you deserved it (5135)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:25am - love - by 1fungi -

Today, my boyfriend of three months told me that he had cheated on me two months ago with my best friend. I decided to give him a second chance. About twenty minutes later, he then broke up with me for not wanting to watch football. Apparently I don't care about his feelings. FML

#13548959
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28070) - you deserved it (12145)

On 10/22/2010 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML

#12986689
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8961) - you deserved it (26497)

On 09/10/2010 at 2:28am - work - by theshad (man) - Reserved

Today, my girlfriend called me to pick her up from jail. She'd been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

#14674981
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28149) - you deserved it (4148)

On 01/22/2011 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, it finally became clear to me that before you start dating a co-worker, it's best to figure out who they've already dated from work, just in case one of her exes is your new manager. FML

#18680064
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22180) - you deserved it (6807)

On 01/01/2012 at 10:38pm - work - by Scorned Employee (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

#17694165
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26173) - you deserved it (3010)

On 09/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by all5fingers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents tried to convince me to get a divorce. My wife and I are perfectly fine. FML

#18754644
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (2323)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:08am - love - by rook - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

#19143991
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22867) - you deserved it (2776)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)

Today, is the third day since I opened my small coffee shop. My parents had given me a nice frame to put my first dollar from working in. I had to sneak in a dollar from my own wallet so they wouldn't know how bad business was when they came to visit. FML

#19762113
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23995) - you deserved it (2312)

On 06/09/2012 at 8:24pm - work - by jeremyj (man) - United States

Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML

#20083501
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10705) - you deserved it (18246)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by pimpdaddyX (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

#20017932
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22675) - you deserved it (2964)

On 08/13/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by burnt (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

#20643700
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47642) - you deserved it (7855)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)



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