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Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21704) - you deserved it (32740)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad is forcing me to go shopping with him tomorrow for Black Friday, because he's convinced that my martial arts classes will come in handy when people "inevitably" try to beat the shit out of us in the rush for cheap stuff. FML

#20973740
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41302) - you deserved it (3520)

On 11/28/2013 at 2:13pm - misc - by fuck me (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend refused to take a picture with me to prove to my friends that I do indeed have a girlfriend. I got so desperate that I photoshopped myself into one of her Facebook photos instead. FML

#20996955
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43990) - you deserved it (14567)

On 12/18/2013 at 1:23pm - love - by Wow. - United States

Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML

#21171761
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44355) - you deserved it (10574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/12/2014 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, the girl I'd been dating online for 6 months told me she was a guy. I said it was alright, and that I was still in love. Then she confessed she really was a girl, and was just trying to make me dump her so she wouldn't be the "bad guy". FML

#21303306
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39413) - you deserved it (7285)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:18pm - love - by Recluse (man) -

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42954) - you deserved it (4079)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I babysat a 10 year old from hell. She kept insulting me, saying I have tiny boobs, that boys must hate me, and that I'm ugly. I eventually got fed up and put her to bed. When her parents came back, she ran out of her room in tears and told them I'd beaten her. They believed it. FML

#21258738
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43257) - you deserved it (2713)

On 09/15/2014 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the couple who had written the offer we had accepted for our house withdrew it because apparently when they came by for the home inspection, my next door neighbor's teenage son tried to sell them heroin. FML

Today, on my second day at my new job, a customer called my manager with a complaint about me. He said I put the cheese "upside down" on his sandwich, and that made it taste bad. FML

Today, I was just taking a wank with my laptop on low battery. Almost finished when my laptop died. FML

#735
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12577) - you deserved it (54421)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:07am - intimacy - by Noname - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, at lunch, I told a bunch of people how I had been in love with this guy since freshman year. I made a bunch of jokes about how I was going to marry him and our kids would be so attractive. He was at the table next to mine and looked back at me as soon as I finished. FML

#2341
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18701) - you deserved it (17041)

On 01/23/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally dropped my birth control pill on the floor and my dog ate it. The good news is, I startled her and she spit it right out. The bad news is, I still had to take it after it had been in my dog's mouth. FML

#3559417
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42237) - you deserved it (19144)

On 07/07/2009 at 5:29pm - animals - by ssnickel - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went into work to waitress on a table of 40 guests. They were my only table for the day and the bill came to over 700 dollars. After they left the busser was cleaning the table and threw out the credit card receipt which had my tip on it. FML

#3308515
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63507) - you deserved it (3916)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:43pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)



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