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Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

#19499711
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15951) - you deserved it (3437)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:56am - misc - by metalwolf - United States

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

#20062299
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4503) - you deserved it (45197)

On 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm - misc - by scumbag i guess - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML

#19715623
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24856) - you deserved it (1755)

On 06/01/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

#20074089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20981) - you deserved it (6227)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:00am - love - by distracted - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

#20096065
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22469) - you deserved it (1743)

On 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm - love - by notgivingup (woman) - United States

Today, I looked over to see my grandfather looking thoughtfully at me. Feeling flattered because he rarely shows affection, I waved at him. He then said, "I was looking out the window" and continued to stare past my head out of the window. FML

#20150050
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17763) - you deserved it (1843)

On 11/06/2012 at 2:59am - misc - by Unappreciated Grandchild - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

#19961879
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28611) - you deserved it (1534)

On 07/20/2012 at 12:58am - work - by are you kidding me???? - United States (Connecticut)

Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML

#20083501
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9840) - you deserved it (16761)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by pimpdaddyX (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

#19996404
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23533) - you deserved it (4283)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by jessmess (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched as some idiot made a bad U-turn and I laughed. I then turned into another car. FML

#20031484
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5429) - you deserved it (34120)

On 08/20/2012 at 4:55am - misc - by LOLOLOLOL (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26998) - you deserved it (2058)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25953) - you deserved it (4014)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27849) - you deserved it (3544)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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