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Today, I went into work to waitress on a table of 40 guests. They were my only table for the day and the bill came to over 700 dollars. After they left the busser was cleaning the table and threw out the credit card receipt which had my tip on it. FML

#3308515
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61143) - you deserved it (3690)

On 06/28/2009 at 2:43pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

#192617
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45004) - you deserved it (5623)

On 03/03/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by lucy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss came back from a 2 week vacation. I was the only one covering for him, and I did an excellent job. It was my chance to get a promotion. I actually improved his sales while he was gone. But the only thing he noticed was that I killed his plant. FML

#492264
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63950) - you deserved it (4533)

On 03/20/2009 at 4:46pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while teaching English in Korea, my boss gave me a birthday present from her and all of my co-workers. It was a really fancy box. It had very nice wrapping. It had a pretty bow. It was kind of heavy. It was 6 bottles of dandruff shampoo. FML

#1892907
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46328) - you deserved it (8100)

On 05/13/2009 at 12:39am - work - by eslteacher (man) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML

#5365635
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48950) - you deserved it (6833)

On 09/20/2009 at 2:06am - misc - by JazzyandAlice (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

#6065888
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35849) - you deserved it (1989)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by seriousdubsteplover (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML

#6389403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27780) - you deserved it (4815)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:19am - animals - by bird-brain (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I told a customer at the drive-thru I couldn't hear him as he had his music blaring too loud. The customer then drove to the window and verbally abused me for listening to my iPod at work. My "iPod" is the headset we use to take orders at the drive-thru. FML

#6704507
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29861) - you deserved it (2262)

On 12/11/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I recieved a phone call from a good guy friend of mine, someone I haven't seen for years. He tells me he has "deep" feelings for me, and wants to know since my husband is deployed, if it would be okay if we "dated" because he told his parents I'm his girlfriend. FML

#6821987
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34050) - you deserved it (2665)

On 12/19/2009 at 12:52am - love - by annoyed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML

#11902145
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33467) - you deserved it (9492)

On 07/15/2010 at 3:53pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML

#13801647
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20779) - you deserved it (8169)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm - work - by MrsKSB - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that I'm so bored of my relationship with my girlfriend, I'd rather make sure I don't break the springs in my bed than make love to her. FML

#9068161
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8391) - you deserved it (22188)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML

#14223629
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (2556)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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