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Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

#21046154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47124) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/31/2014 at 11:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML

#21058111
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47361) - you deserved it (5432)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stuck - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52576) - you deserved it (7844)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47214) - you deserved it (17123)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML

Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50719) - you deserved it (9747)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44021) - you deserved it (3846)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, British Telecom disconnected my landline by mistake. Their call centre in India tried to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't need a phone line at my address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML

#365
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18875) - you deserved it (1790)

On 11/22/2008 at 6:51am - misc - by Sugar - United Kingdom

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see well with them. She replied, "Oh yes, you have two big spots on your nose!" FML

#599
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17311) - you deserved it (2142)

On 12/25/2008 at 11:53pm - work - by jamjamy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML

#4150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22883) - you deserved it (1776)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by Larry - United States (California)



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