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Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

#20020707
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17897) - you deserved it (1334)

On 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

#19269481
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24532) - you deserved it (2034)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

#20080998
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20237) - you deserved it (842)

On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML

#19032712
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17188) - you deserved it (3382)

On 02/09/2012 at 6:05am - health - by thairsha (woman) - Japan

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

#19404446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6242) - you deserved it (23452)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

#19411830
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (1658)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by I hate nasty people - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML

#19238093
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18977) - you deserved it (6599)

On 03/08/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by Anon - United States

Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML

#19467974
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17634) - you deserved it (2046)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm - kids - by Rory - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received my first payment of child support from my estranged husband: $50 and a note that said he wouldn't be paying any more. FML

#19335600
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18717) - you deserved it (2888)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

#19676513
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15645) - you deserved it (1750)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by daddyowl - Canada (Quebec)

Today, driving home, I got bored and started debating how I know this is reality and not just a dream, even though dreams often seem real. The answer came quickly; in my dreams, I work normal hours and have time for things like hanging out with friends, and having a girlfriend. FML

#19499711
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15215) - you deserved it (3370)

On 04/20/2012 at 4:56am - misc - by metalwolf - United States

Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our beds are in the same room, and he's always in and out of the bathroom. Consequently, I don't have nearly enough privacy to choke the cock, if you know what I mean. FML

#19679809
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7768) - you deserved it (23950)

On 05/25/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by MySummerinEurope (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I realized the only reason my phone ever rings is because someone needs help with their computer. FML

#19672620
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14486) - you deserved it (1668)

On 05/24/2012 at 12:41pm - misc - by that guy - United States



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