Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason she asked me to shave my beard. When I go down on her shaved, it feels more like her ex-boyfriend. FML

#14336501
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35928) - you deserved it (3725)

On 12/25/2010 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a snow storm rolled into my small town, leaving my car stuck under 3 feet of snow. I called my boss to tell her I couldn't drive to work. Her reply? "Walk." FML

#14795725
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31711) - you deserved it (5689)

On 02/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by Username -

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

#19335625
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11483) - you deserved it (30682)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:42pm - health - by Anon - United States

Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML

#18510886
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (2706)

On 12/14/2011 at 11:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

#19143991
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23603) - you deserved it (2846)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a booth at a very expensive craft show. My grandma came to show her support. While there, she managed to knock over my display, get in the way of potential buyers and take down a rather old lady when she supposedly stumbled. This all happened in the first five minutes she was there. FML

#20167730
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22744) - you deserved it (1848)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:02am - work - by soldnone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML

#20077221
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22707) - you deserved it (1975)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:35am - health - by AnnieThrax (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

#20460414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34009) - you deserved it (5123)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML

#20557546
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36305) - you deserved it (8547)

On 03/24/2013 at 3:35am - love - by whatchagonnado - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

#20593450
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46561) - you deserved it (4585)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

#20643700
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48416) - you deserved it (7971)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:10pm - health - by grossed out - United States (Illinois)

Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML

#20607182
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44175) - you deserved it (5322)

On 04/20/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

#20803187
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45803) - you deserved it (3508)

On 07/25/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: