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Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

#18906586
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (1833)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:50am - work - by replik - Russian Federation

Today, I worked 4 hours for a huge mail call to get all the troops their Christmas mail. And just like every other mail call I did not receive one package or letter. FML

#18595916
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26883) - you deserved it (2277)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

#19173596
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23085) - you deserved it (3285)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got denied a job. They told me I was unreliable because I didn't show up for my third interview. This is the same interview they called and cancelled this morning. FML

#19025988
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24839) - you deserved it (1670)

On 02/08/2012 at 11:53am - work - by abrooks88 - United States

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

#20020707
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20833) - you deserved it (1548)

On 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the only person to wish me a happy birthday was a survey website. I took their stupid survey out of appreciation. FML

#19391757
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20856) - you deserved it (2012)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

#19404446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6670) - you deserved it (24557)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

#19311735
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17624) - you deserved it (9674)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:33am - health - by insightful - Australia

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25324) - you deserved it (4292)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18118) - you deserved it (13007)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

#19414081
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22740) - you deserved it (4505)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:41pm - health - by TwiceDaily,Kids (man) - United States

Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML

#20057380
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (1809)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Becoming a commuter. (woman) - United States (New York)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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