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Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML

#1845735
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22635) - you deserved it (41881)

On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by samantha246 - United States (New York)

Today, my cat was hit by a car. I took it to the vet expecting the worst but they told me that she’d be fine. I was so happy I didn't even mind paying the $50 bill. The next morning my cat was dead. Having her put down humanely would have cost $45, I paid $5 extra to have her die in my kitchen. FML

#2137962
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58927) - you deserved it (4122)

On 05/21/2009 at 4:06am - animals - by georgia819 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I didn't call her in the last few days. I tried to explain to her that I was out at my grandfather's house in a remote place with no cell service to stand by him on his death bed. She thought I was making excuses and called me a lying bastard. FML

#3759649
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56871) - you deserved it (4401)

On 07/14/2009 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out that the phrase I got tattooed on my lower back is misspelled. FML

#5680607
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15549) - you deserved it (65573)

On 10/06/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by TatooFAIL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML

#6666980
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35616) - you deserved it (4426)

On 12/08/2009 at 5:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

#6065888
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36812) - you deserved it (2056)

On 10/30/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by seriousdubsteplover (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30598) - you deserved it (3337)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I learned my wife wasn't speaking to me because our daughter told her I kissed another woman. My daughter neglected to mention that this happened when she came to work with me yesterday, and the kiss was between me and the dummy I use to teach my interns CPR. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

#6581083
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40756) - you deserved it (2642)

On 12/03/2009 at 6:34am - love - by fmldr (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the dentist. My dentist kept talking to me while his hands were in my mouth. I attempted to tell him that it was difficult and dangerous to respond. My talking made him slip and slice my mouth open with one of his instruments. FML

#11902145
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34528) - you deserved it (9704)

On 07/15/2010 at 3:53pm - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss was watching taser pranks online, when he said he was going to "get me". We often take turns playing pranks on each other, and I was the last to prank him. Now I'm terrified to move or turn my back on anything other than a wall at work. FML

#13801647
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21676) - you deserved it (8277)

On 11/11/2010 at 12:46pm - work - by MrsKSB - United States (Texas)

Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML

#8828123
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (5219)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Stephanie (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was teaching a special techniques class for ballet and was focusing on pirouettes. I was teaching a group of 8 year olds, and one student could do perfect triple turns one after the other. I still can't do them, and I've been dancing for 15 years. FML

#8437368
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (5865)

On 02/19/2010 at 6:52am - kids - by JJ101 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after getting an expensive haircut, I showed it to my boyfriend. Instead of saying, "Wow, those bangs look great on you" he said, "Wow, you look really good when you don't show your forehead." FML

#13722404
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25882) - you deserved it (4527)

On 11/05/2010 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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