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Today, at lunch, a fly was buzzing around my food. I managed to kill the fly in my napkin in midair. I continued my lunch, pleased with my amazing ninja skills. When I was done with my lunch, I wiped my mouth with the napkin. I can still taste bug guts. Karma. FML

#5938925
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11006) - you deserved it (34469)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:19am - animals - by munckncruncj15 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I used the bathroom that the high school shares with elementary kids. As I was pulling my pants down, my phone fell out of my pocket into the other stall. As I was reaching for it, the little girl in the other stall took it and ran away. FML

#6666980
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34781) - you deserved it (4343)

On 12/08/2009 at 5:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML

#6115466
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31664) - you deserved it (1946)

On 11/02/2009 at 4:03am - work - by fmyjob (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29724) - you deserved it (3253)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I found out that shouting 'arsehole' at a speeding car is not a good idea. Two chavs MIGHT just turn around, drive onto the pavement and push you into a bush. FML

#7640098
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10912) - you deserved it (27192)

On 01/28/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by Daivv (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I bought my wedding dress and sat it on the bed while I went to buy matching shoes. When I came home, I saw my soon to be husband on the bed sitting next to my wedding dress. Turns out he spilt Coca-Cola on the dress and was trying to get it out with carpet cleanser. FML

#8828123
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26824) - you deserved it (5093)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:01pm - love - by Stephanie (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML

#13508012
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24958) - you deserved it (8245)

On 10/19/2010 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason she asked me to shave my beard. When I go down on her shaved, it feels more like her ex-boyfriend. FML

#14336501
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34995) - you deserved it (3648)

On 12/25/2010 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML

#14628920
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29114) - you deserved it (8193)

On 01/18/2011 at 6:07pm - misc - by sunshine19217 - United States (Florida)

Today, a snow storm rolled into my small town, leaving my car stuck under 3 feet of snow. I called my boss to tell her I couldn't drive to work. Her reply? "Walk." FML

#14795725
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30496) - you deserved it (5566)

On 02/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by Username -

Today, out of sheer boredom, I took a career personality test. The "best match" for me was the position of funeral director. Not only do I have a promising future with death, I got genuinely excited at how accurate the result was. FML

#17646578
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19769) - you deserved it (4461)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:53pm - work - by whattalife (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after returning to the UK from my Australian holiday, I was fired from my job for no reason. My boss told me he'd waited till I'd returned to do it. I could have stayed in Australia with my mates traveling for a year if I had been fired before I left. I'm sure he did it on purpose. FML

#18510886
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32003) - you deserved it (2651)

On 12/14/2011 at 11:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML



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