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Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

#20438192
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34025) - you deserved it (1329)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

#20438837
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (2278)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18801) - you deserved it (1590)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML

#20495821
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26766) - you deserved it (2490)

On 02/06/2013 at 4:05pm - health - by AplJax3 (woman) - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26628) - you deserved it (6190)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

#20486408
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29254) - you deserved it (1572)

On 01/30/2013 at 4:05pm - animals - by puppydrama - United States

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (2372)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw a woman breast feeding her child at the local park. That would have been just fine if the child wasn't at least 8 years old. FML

#20474414
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29141) - you deserved it (3123)

On 01/23/2013 at 3:33am - misc - by TheLastSerenade (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at my 6-year-old son's birthday party, I had to explain to my boyfriend that it's not okay to use condoms as party balloons. FML

#20477498
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23310) - you deserved it (5233)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find two letters from a publishing house that I'd submitted my manuscript to. The first was congratulatory, stating that my book had been accepted for publishing. The second was apologetic, stating that the first letter had been intended for someone else. FML

#20479103
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26572) - you deserved it (1241)

On 01/26/2013 at 1:14am - work - by strugglingartist (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found my boyfriend's Facebook page. I also found his wife's. FML

#20475642
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35495) - you deserved it (3571)

On 01/23/2013 at 9:59pm - love - by ohokay (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

#20486186
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22207) - you deserved it (1206)

On 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by jeoak - India

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

#20491476
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (4036)

On 02/03/2013 at 11:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Serbia



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