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Today, I found out my dad has a 1-in-a-million disease that makes your liver process pain medication at twice the rate of a normal person. If that wasn't bad enough, he also tells me he hopes I don't have it too, because it can be passed down. He said this because I'm 29 weeks pregnant. FML

#15546650
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33562) - you deserved it (3020)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:08pm - health - by Spike (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

#19335625
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9896) - you deserved it (27509)

On 03/23/2012 at 10:42pm - health - by Anon - United States

Today, my ex fiancée, who left me six months ago, asked if I'd mind if she used the wedding dress I bought her for our wedding. She's just gotten engaged again. FML

#15604755
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37272) - you deserved it (3107)

On 04/02/2011 at 12:44pm - love - by Jon (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

#15985545
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27838) - you deserved it (7483)

On 04/30/2011 at 12:49am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I was working on my new house and I was taking out a large cactus. While picking up the pieces to throw away, I noticed a spider on my forearm. Without thinking, I swiped at the spider with a piece of the cactus. I missed the spider, not my forearm. FML

#17467525
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13077) - you deserved it (24375)

On 08/14/2011 at 4:17am - animals - by romea244 - United States (Puerto Rico)

Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML

#18872855
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10991) - you deserved it (27181)

On 01/21/2012 at 5:44pm - love - by actor my ass (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that my roommate, the one in charge of the cooking, never washes her hands beforehand. According to her, it boosts her immune system. FML

#18297525
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28018) - you deserved it (3922)

On 11/20/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my fiancée informed me she'd invited her ex-husband to our wedding at her parents' request. FML

#19480512
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25203) - you deserved it (1951)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:57pm - love - by Tony (man) - United States

Today, my roommate and I realised our freezer hasn't been working for days. This would be slightly less awful if she hadn't been storing dead rats for her pet snakes in there. Let's just say the smell is interesting. FML

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

#20650425
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (51599)

On 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by Checkless chick - United States

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

#20700580
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43011) - you deserved it (4322)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by fucker43 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML

#20771105
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36763) - you deserved it (3517)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:26pm - animals - by Zoey_M - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my husband and I were talking about celebrities he finds attractive. All of these beautiful, talented, glamorous women were starting to make me feel very plain, so he attempted to console me by saying, "But I love you. You're attainable!" FML

#20926020
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41588) - you deserved it (5883)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:30am - love - by AchievementUnlocked? - United States



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