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Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

#19414081
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22667) - you deserved it (4494)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:41pm - health - by TwiceDaily,Kids (man) - United States

Today, my remote control airplane arrived in the mail. I was super excited, so naturally I took it outside for its first flight. It now resides at the top of the tallest tree in sight. FML

#19691292
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16925) - you deserved it (8024)

On 05/27/2012 at 11:33pm - misc - by buckley456 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML

#20062299
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4480) - you deserved it (44997)

On 09/07/2012 at 8:26pm - misc - by scumbag i guess - United States (Texas)

Today, it was my last day at school before I graduate next week. Ten minutes into lunch break, I was brutally nailed in the neck by a football. Now, not only do I look like I was given a hickey by the Jolly Green Giant himself, I have to wear a neck brace at my graduation ceremony. FML

#19715623
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24325) - you deserved it (1716)

On 06/01/2012 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

#20074089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (6058)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:00am - love - by distracted - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend has a three day break from work. This would be great if he hadn't just told me he's having a Guild Wars 2 marathon. Now all I have to look forward to is slow wifi and anguished screams every time his character dies. FML

#20084035
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17179) - you deserved it (2662)

On 09/22/2012 at 7:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

#19961879
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28492) - you deserved it (1530)

On 07/20/2012 at 12:58am - work - by are you kidding me???? - United States (Connecticut)

Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML

#20083501
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9798) - you deserved it (16684)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by pimpdaddyX (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML

#20060052
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22212) - you deserved it (8286)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:38am - misc - by juliannamelissa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

#20048535
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8608) - you deserved it (25842)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:33pm - misc - by nolife - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

#20004339
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22096) - you deserved it (2486)

On 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by crissy becks - United States (California)

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

#19996404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22299) - you deserved it (4135)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by jessmess (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML

#20084489
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19732) - you deserved it (2038)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:03am - health - by Nyquilwtf - United States



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