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Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

#19311735
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16615) - you deserved it (9263)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:33am - health - by insightful - Australia

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17317) - you deserved it (12609)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

#19414081
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22605) - you deserved it (4489)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:41pm - health - by TwiceDaily,Kids (man) - United States

Today, my remote control airplane arrived in the mail. I was super excited, so naturally I took it outside for its first flight. It now resides at the top of the tallest tree in sight. FML

#19691292
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16752) - you deserved it (7998)

On 05/27/2012 at 11:33pm - misc - by buckley456 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

#20074089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19109) - you deserved it (5892)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:00am - love - by distracted - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend has a three day break from work. This would be great if he hadn't just told me he's having a Guild Wars 2 marathon. Now all I have to look forward to is slow wifi and anguished screams every time his character dies. FML

#20084035
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17112) - you deserved it (2655)

On 09/22/2012 at 7:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

#19992409
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21685) - you deserved it (1420)

On 07/30/2012 at 9:00am - work - by Frustation - United States

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

#19961879
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28419) - you deserved it (1528)

On 07/20/2012 at 12:58am - work - by are you kidding me???? - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

#20004339
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (2483)

On 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by crissy becks - United States (California)

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

#19996404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22240) - you deserved it (4128)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by jessmess (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that Nyquil has such an amazing effect on me, that it won't even allow me to wake up to go to the bathroom. FML

#20084489
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19670) - you deserved it (2034)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:03am - health - by Nyquilwtf - United States

Today, I had my first accident in 5 years of driving. I clipped a Ford Fiesta, mirror to mirror. His mirror is totally destroyed. Mine is fine. I was so stressed afterwards that I reversed straight into another car. FML

#20070204
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18742) - you deserved it (7538)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:25pm - money - by Arcam (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)



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