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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me in his car. I had to walk home. FML

#19427391
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (2110)

On 04/08/2012 at 1:17am - love - by iJuli - United States (Montana)

Today, it's been exactly two years since I got my last raise. And the amount I got still allows me the luxury of being able to afford a Snickers bar every month. FML

#19488573
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17138) - you deserved it (1867)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:49am - work - by Disgruntled (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I worked 4 hours for a huge mail call to get all the troops their Christmas mail. And just like every other mail call I did not receive one package or letter. FML

#18595916
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (1986)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I checked over the pictures on my night-cam to see if my cats are really going on our kitchen counters. As soon as I'd seen the first picture, I realized that this whole time my cats haven't been going on it. It was a rat. FML

#19004076
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20451) - you deserved it (1952)

On 02/05/2012 at 8:13pm - animals - by rattrap (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

#20020707
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17772) - you deserved it (1329)

On 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while I was looking for an apartment for my boyfriend and myself, he asked me how would I feel about his mom moving in together with us. FML

#19269481
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24394) - you deserved it (2028)

On 03/13/2012 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

#20080998
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20089) - you deserved it (833)

On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML

#19032712
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17064) - you deserved it (3370)

On 02/09/2012 at 6:05am - health - by thairsha (woman) - Japan

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

#19404446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4847) - you deserved it (16604)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States

Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML

#19411830
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19699) - you deserved it (1648)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by I hate nasty people - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML

#19238093
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17204) - you deserved it (6315)

On 03/08/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by Anon - United States

Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML

#19467974
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17520) - you deserved it (2040)

On 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm - kids - by Rory - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after 5 months of unemployment and hardcore job searching, I got hired for my dream job. I called my mum to tell her all about it, to which she responded, "Great honey! Now all you need to do is lose all that weight". She allowed me all of 4 minutes of feeling good about myself. FML

#19676513
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15492) - you deserved it (1739)

On 05/25/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by daddyowl - Canada (Quebec)



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