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Today, for the second day in a row, I got to hear both of my roommates having sex, through two closed doors and a hallway. This is as I hit my thirtieth month of involuntary celibacy. FML

#20058791
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17868) - you deserved it (2848)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Scholar - United States

Today, I was informed that one of my store managers does a "great" impression of me. No one will tell me what it is, but apparently it's really funny. FML

#19416398
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16551) - you deserved it (1916)

On 04/06/2012 at 7:09am - work - by mockable (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a flight home. I wasn't going to arrive until midnight, so I was offered an earlier flight that got back at ten. I got to baggage claims and it turned out they lost my bag. I sat there for 2 hours. The people on my original flight left for home before I did. FML

#16733710
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24731) - you deserved it (3093)

On 06/18/2011 at 7:54pm - misc - by me - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

#17385440
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20263) - you deserved it (2554)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:28am - health - by LH0026 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML

#19079186
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13311) - you deserved it (5543)

On 02/14/2012 at 8:26pm - health - by no tp (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML

#19417641
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19692) - you deserved it (5262)

On 04/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by nobrows (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I needed to buy a new helmet. When I got to the sport shop, there was only one left in my size and preferred color. 30 minutes after buying it, my head starts itching. Turns out I paid $40 for lice. FML

#19319273
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23201) - you deserved it (1910)

On 03/21/2012 at 5:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML

#20091337
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24798) - you deserved it (2014)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, I had just finished an elaborate charcoal drawing as part of a college application that took a good week. When I read over the requirements, I found out it needed to be done in graphite pencil. FML

#19054898
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13402) - you deserved it (31466)

On 02/12/2012 at 5:36am - misc - by Lameartist -

Today, I read an article on babies dying after being accidentally left in cars in the sun. On my lunch break, I decided to walk around the parking lot, checking to see that no kids were abandoned in cars. A guy gave me a smack for looking through his car window. FML

#19656678
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6308) - you deserved it (28091)

On 05/21/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by whytoday -

Today, 30 minutes before I was supposed to quit work at 6pm, my boss showed up. After telling him how the day went, he asked why I was still there. Apparently, for the holiday, we close early. 4 hours earlier. FML

#16981482
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20592) - you deserved it (6384)

On 07/05/2011 at 1:34am - work - by worksucker - United States (Texas)

Today, I was kicked out of my review lecture at community college, for "being a disturbance and refusing to stop whistling." I wasn't even given a chance to explain that I have a cold. FML

#19382867
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16742) - you deserved it (1775)

On 03/31/2012 at 2:53pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

#20037042
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20144) - you deserved it (2236)

On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



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