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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized how truly insecure I really am, when the guy in the show I'm watching looked straight into the camera and I immediately looked away. FML

#21253498
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38233) - you deserved it (5112)

On 09/07/2014 at 3:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my father picked me up from the police academy I'm attending, and got caught speeding. The officer was my drill instructor, and I had to do push-ups on the side of the highway. FML

#21297310
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37333) - you deserved it (4961)

On 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm - misc - by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML

#21348837
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17212) - you deserved it (31406)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:50am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a garden gnome to spice up my lawn. Tonight, someone threw it right through my living room window. Not only will the repairs cost a ton, my neighbor keeps saying stupid shit to me, like "You must be shattered" and "Looks like you ain't got a window gnome... more." FML

#21391420
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (3222)

On 04/10/2015 at 6:17pm - misc - by dickhead (woman) - United States

Today, I warned my boss that I couldn't take part in a very important meeting I've been working on for 6 months (my son is ill). "Never mind" he said, "We'll just put a pot plant on your seat". FML

#465
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26114) - you deserved it (2828)

On 12/07/2008 at 10:21pm - love - by Butterfly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking my new dog and saw this girl that I've had a crush on for months. When I approached her, I tried to look 'macho' with my dog. However my dog thought it would be more attractive to pee on my leg. FML

#2741665
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43221) - you deserved it (10208)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:09pm - animals - by chris (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out nobody in my family wants to come to my college graduation. I spent 4 years and $60,000 to be the first person in my family to go to college, and nobody wants to see me graduate because the 4 hour ceremony is too long. FML

#1639625
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76257) - you deserved it (4403)

On 05/04/2009 at 7:39pm - misc - by strawberrypuff (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom tells my sister that she is worried about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu for two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask, "What about me?" Her response? "Stay away from your sister." FML

#6068182
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34384) - you deserved it (2730)

On 10/30/2009 at 8:05am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the airport for my two week trip to explore Europe. My ticket was denied and the workers turned me away. When I asked why, they told me to check the date. My ticket was for June 22nd, not July. FML

#3951293
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19588) - you deserved it (60166)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

#5975036
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37487) - you deserved it (6855)

On 10/24/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by marz88 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML

#6252858
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27560) - you deserved it (3971)

On 11/11/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by carsuck (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on my grandparents' computer looking for my old high school resume. I came across a word document titled "Experiences". Thinking it was part of my resume, I opened it up and started reading. It was a brief, yet explicit record of my grandfather's recent sexual frustrations. FML

#7631314
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18630) - you deserved it (5149)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:00am - intimacy - by nick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML

#14117134
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26247) - you deserved it (2263)

On 12/07/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Ostfold)



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