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Today, I started a job on a building site. Halfway through, I needed to use the toilet. One of the builders said there were two of them; one was "OK" and the other was "nasty." The first one I walked into had the foulest stench imaginable. Apparently, that was the "OK" one. FML

#20090541
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17576) - you deserved it (1437)

On 09/27/2012 at 1:22am - work - by theotherotherguy (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had my first accident in 5 years of driving. I clipped a Ford Fiesta, mirror to mirror. His mirror is totally destroyed. Mine is fine. I was so stressed afterwards that I reversed straight into another car. FML

#20070204
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18604) - you deserved it (7517)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:25pm - money - by Arcam (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I watched as some idiot made a bad U-turn and I laughed. I then turned into another car. FML

#20031484
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4757) - you deserved it (31799)

On 08/20/2012 at 4:55am - misc - by LOLOLOLOL (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26034) - you deserved it (1974)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML

#20427068
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36237) - you deserved it (3651)

On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24537) - you deserved it (9156)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML

#20446338
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (4545)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27503) - you deserved it (3521)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while reading in the bath, I accidentally switched the shower on. Not wanting my book to get soaked, I threw it out of the tub. When I got out of the tub later, I found it had landed squarely in the toilet. FML

#20479000
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27195) - you deserved it (11310)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:03am - misc - by stelssy (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10228) - you deserved it (33888)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me he wanted to learn Korean before Spanish. Apparently, being able to sing along to Gangnam Style is more important to him than being able to speak with my family. FML

#20453278
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35131) - you deserved it (6890)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Latina (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42410) - you deserved it (4206)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27908) - you deserved it (2285)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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