Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad tried to convince my mother to stay with him. "Think of all the great times we've had," he said and started naming off quite a few. Too bad none of them were about the three kids they had together, all were vacations. FML

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19741) - you deserved it (2969)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML

#8547609
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26519) - you deserved it (2568)

On 02/22/2010 at 6:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

#13045440
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (6156)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:57am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML

#8876502
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9116) - you deserved it (23414)

On 03/06/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by Octobre (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (3583)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, I was at a comedy club, and the girl behind me was drinking. Before she swallowed it, the comedian said something funny, making her spit it all in my hair. I had just had it done for my sister's wedding tomorrow. FML

#13190418
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26998) - you deserved it (5775)

On 09/25/2010 at 12:49am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML

#9047777
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27213) - you deserved it (2726)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:16pm - money - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that that tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML

#12549238
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (5583)

On 08/15/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by Tingly (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

#9016591
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5418) - you deserved it (28253)

On 03/12/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by LXA429 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22086) - you deserved it (2977)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, hoping to avoid the rain because I had just gotten an expensive perm, I ducked under an awning. At that moment, the store manager shook the awning, and about 6 hours of rain dumped on my head. FML

#11853841
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32109) - you deserved it (7847)

On 07/13/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by dammitrain (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I dropped my physics class because I thought I bombed the 50% second midterm test. I got my results an hour after dropping online. I finished with an 83. I can't get back into the course. FML

#8945692
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6641) - you deserved it (57329)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:42pm - love - by mizzleshizzle - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: