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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend of 7 months broke up with me, and then asked if I'd give him head one last time before he left. FML

#11531081
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45897) - you deserved it (6748)

On 06/29/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Alissa - United States

Today, I made salmon patties and boiled cabbage. I smelled smoke from my stove burner, but thought I spilled something in the burner. No big deal. Later, this horrible smell started coming from the stove. My husband took the stove apart, only to find that I had fried a mouse as well. FML

#13713523
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29680) - you deserved it (3885)

On 11/04/2010 at 11:17am - misc - by Whitley - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML

#13586987
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26773) - you deserved it (2739)

On 10/25/2010 at 4:28am - intimacy - by kimbo (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was told that I was an idiot by a little girl because I didn't deliver a pizza to her house fast enough. FML

#15205906
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27923) - you deserved it (8672)

On 03/05/2011 at 10:46am - work - by deliveryboy - China (Shanghai)

Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML

#15150978
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28181) - you deserved it (5151)

On 02/28/2011 at 11:26am - work - by Username -

Today, my pants felt a little looser than usual. Thinking I'd lost weight, I proudly went about my day. It wasn't until much later that I realised I hadn't lost any weight at all; my fly was down. FML

#16284011
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12598) - you deserved it (29520)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by woodchuck0022 - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I woke up to the sound of my car being stolen. FML

#19637548
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26853) - you deserved it (2043)

On 05/17/2012 at 4:41pm - misc - by Unhappymothersday - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I see that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

#16543151
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36251) - you deserved it (3508)

On 06/07/2011 at 6:27am - misc - by Sickinbed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had eight teeth removed in preparation for getting my braces fitted. My winter break will now consists of barely being able to sleep or eat, tasting blood, and looking like a goofy-ass chipmunk. FML

#19900081
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24388) - you deserved it (2318)

On 07/06/2012 at 1:11pm - misc - by Julie is in pain (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to do the laundry at my hotel. I had just enough money for my two loads. After getting frustrated with the washer taking two of my quarters and giving no credit, I took the clothes out. The washer then locked the door shut and started without my clothes. FML

#19996404
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (4553)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by jessmess (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29737) - you deserved it (2607)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML

#20475292
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32140) - you deserved it (7321)

On 01/23/2013 at 6:33pm - money - by stevenr579 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML

#20566826
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40286) - you deserved it (3944)

On 03/30/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by My Life Is Just PERFECT - United States



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