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Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18039) - you deserved it (11760)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had a huge yard sale. Since I live in a good neighborhood, I decided to leave the stuff out tonight rather than pack it all in for only a few hours. The news didn't say anything about the impending severe thunderstorm. FML

#19580691
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6875) - you deserved it (28432)

On 05/06/2012 at 3:38am - misc - by penguindude82 - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML

#18633167
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8787) - you deserved it (26664)

On 12/28/2011 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I was walking down the street when I had a coughing fit. The next thing I know I'm being pushed about by a group of guys who were smoking, because they thought I was coughing deliberately to send them a message about smoking being bad. FML

#20055365
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20833) - you deserved it (1505)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:37am - misc - by Tyler - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got stuck for a while in a hallway between two security doors due to a malfunction. I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure am sensitive to horrifying smells coming from a nearby bathroom stall. FML

#18906586
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19163) - you deserved it (1781)

On 01/25/2012 at 10:50am - work - by replik - Russian Federation

Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML

Today, I worked 4 hours for a huge mail call to get all the troops their Christmas mail. And just like every other mail call I did not receive one package or letter. FML

#18595916
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24729) - you deserved it (2088)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

#19173596
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22760) - you deserved it (3270)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got denied a job. They told me I was unreliable because I didn't show up for my third interview. This is the same interview they called and cancelled this morning. FML

#19025988
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24517) - you deserved it (1658)

On 02/08/2012 at 11:53am - work - by abrooks88 - United States

Today, the only person to wish me a happy birthday was a survey website. I took their stupid survey out of appreciation. FML

#19391757
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19264) - you deserved it (1886)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

#19404446
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6333) - you deserved it (23696)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:53pm - misc - by gaagaa - United States

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

#19311735
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16520) - you deserved it (9236)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:33am - health - by insightful - Australia

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16599) - you deserved it (12262)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



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