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Today, I was forced to listen to a client rant about her lackluster sexual encounters with her husband. I was also given a rather detailed description of his manhood. Apparently, it's small. FML

Today, I worked 4 hours for a huge mail call to get all the troops their Christmas mail. And just like every other mail call I did not receive one package or letter. FML

#18595916
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23445) - you deserved it (1991)

On 12/24/2011 at 3:38am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

#19173596
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (3097)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got denied a job. They told me I was unreliable because I didn't show up for my third interview. This is the same interview they called and cancelled this morning. FML

#19025988
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23223) - you deserved it (1562)

On 02/08/2012 at 11:53am - work - by abrooks88 - United States

Today, the only person to wish me a happy birthday was a survey website. I took their stupid survey out of appreciation. FML

#19391757
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14873) - you deserved it (1295)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

#19311735
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14220) - you deserved it (8534)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:33am - health - by insightful - Australia

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15768) - you deserved it (11811)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

#19414081
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19840) - you deserved it (4137)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:41pm - health - by TwiceDaily,Kids (man) - United States

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

#20074089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17780) - you deserved it (5635)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:00am - love - by distracted - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend has a three day break from work. This would be great if he hadn't just told me he's having a Guild Wars 2 marathon. Now all I have to look forward to is slow wifi and anguished screams every time his character dies. FML

#20084035
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15076) - you deserved it (2403)

On 09/22/2012 at 7:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

#19992409
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19651) - you deserved it (1258)

On 07/30/2012 at 9:00am - work - by Frustation - United States

Today, I got really bored at work. I decided to spin myself around and around in my chair until I got really dizzy. Apparently my boss decided to start watching me do this while I was in mid-spin. FML

#19775429
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5381) - you deserved it (24668)

On 06/12/2012 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom



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