Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML

#21104664
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39289) - you deserved it (4577)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by King_of_hearts (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45432) - you deserved it (3267)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML

#21185830
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47156) - you deserved it (6269)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56pm - love - by criley (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

#21246644
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38289) - you deserved it (7133)

On 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, apparently when you tell a hairdresser "A little off the sides." they hear "A bowl cut, please, and make it look extra stupid." FML

#21354162
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29517) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/11/2015 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

#21448563
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (3248)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm - misc - by Oopsie - United States (Vermont)

Today, my brand new and very expensive laser printer does actually print 10 times faster than my old one. Except there's nothing printed on the paper. Never mind, at least it makes a cool sound. FML

#458
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (3876)

On 12/06/2008 at 2:51am - misc - by harry - Sent from mobile version

Today, I am down to 3 euros. My mother just stole the last two euros from me. I asked what she needed them for? Condoms. My mother can have safe sex. I can't buy lunch tomorrow. FML

#1998
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31860) - you deserved it (1936)

On 01/21/2009 at 6:22am - intimacy - by theDiva - Malta

Today, I thought my face was breaking out with pimples, and I thought it was weird because I never break out. And I noticed all these "bug bites" all over my body. When I got home, I realized those weren't bug bites. I have chicken pox, and my high school graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2819083
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58607) - you deserved it (3203)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:06am - health - by angela (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was late to work and couldn't get my gas tank open. Panicking, I asked the only person around to help me who happened to be a very large man. He was able to open it for me and seemed really nice. That is until he pulled out a knife and robbed me. FML

#2752400
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52440) - you deserved it (4008)

On 06/09/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by unfortunate (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had three sheriffs come to my door, turns out my boyfriend of three years went on a robbing spree last week and brought the stolen merchandise back to my apartment. The best part: He used my car while committing the robberies. FML

#3230818
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50973) - you deserved it (6345)

On 06/26/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by Ipickthegoodones (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my brother had his hot friend over. I decided to make a move because he was staring at me and smiling all night. So I asked him which holiday was his favorite, Christmas or Easter while I batted my eyes and smiled. Thats when he said, "you have lettuce in your teeth." FML

#2428890
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14652) - you deserved it (44003)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: