Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

#17385440
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (2842)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:28am - health - by LH0026 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML

#16937181
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (2946)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:23pm - misc - by xXx3mi_MuffinxXx (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

#19348017
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28444) - you deserved it (2720)

On 03/25/2012 at 10:53pm - health - by John (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, my car broke down in the middle of the street. Lucky for me, two guys helped me push my car to the side of the road. Right when I was about to thank them, they stole my purse. FML

#18020757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29735) - you deserved it (2591)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by mommydearist - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my paycheck. I was really excited since I've been broke for the last two weeks. On my way home, I got pulled over and got a ticket for expired tags. The $90 for new tags plus $135 for the citation will leave me with enough to buy a burger. FML

#16645902
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (26315)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:06pm - money - by fuckcops (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

#16542876
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29157) - you deserved it (3240)

On 06/07/2011 at 5:28am - love - by S. Tucker - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

#19348769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19645) - you deserved it (1984)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by Ringo McDingo (man) - United States

Today, I had just finished an elaborate charcoal drawing as part of a college application that took a good week. When I read over the requirements, I found out it needed to be done in graphite pencil. FML

#19054898
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14621) - you deserved it (33826)

On 02/12/2012 at 5:36am - misc - by Lameartist -

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (2263)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, a guy in a fancy car tailed me for twenty minutes, just so he could take a picture of my license plate and tell me there's a $300 fine for flicking cigarette ashes out your window. FML

#19394810
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10192) - you deserved it (27864)

On 04/02/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

#20037042
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (2588)

On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got on a two hour train ride to go to a concert. I had been so caught up in handling the train tickets that halfway to the concert, I realized I had left the concert tickets on my dresser. FML

#19981303
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21582) - you deserved it (7923)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by sirensaresexy - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

#17778916
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24373) - you deserved it (2020)

On 09/19/2011 at 6:16am - animals - by gs - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: