Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

#19348769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18725) - you deserved it (1892)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by Ringo McDingo (man) - United States

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25407) - you deserved it (2256)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, my doctor told me that the reason I'm losing my eyesight is because I'm straining my eyes, and that the best thing for me to do is to limit my time in front of computers. I spent years in college to get my current job which involves sitting in front of computers. FML

#18111169
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24956) - you deserved it (2301)

On 10/30/2011 at 12:31pm - health - by comedybreak - United States (California)

Today, a guy in a fancy car tailed me for twenty minutes, just so he could take a picture of my license plate and tell me there's a $300 fine for flicking cigarette ashes out your window. FML

#19394810
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10175) - you deserved it (27807)

On 04/02/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

#20037042
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23964) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I got on a two hour train ride to go to a concert. I had been so caught up in handling the train tickets that halfway to the concert, I realized I had left the concert tickets on my dresser. FML

#19981303
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21542) - you deserved it (7916)

On 07/24/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by sirensaresexy - United States (New York)

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

#17778916
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23251) - you deserved it (1925)

On 09/19/2011 at 6:16am - animals - by gs - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that due to the fact that I got divorced, the insurance for my car is going up. A year after she took everything, she is still costing me money. FML

#18922486
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (3020)

On 01/27/2012 at 1:54am - money - by dust - Japan

Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

#19287473
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21211) - you deserved it (1800)

On 03/16/2012 at 5:02am - misc - by disgusted - United States

Today, I finished a website that I have been working on for ages for a friend. He tried to repay me by offering to teach me to play table tennis. FML

#17909983
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21661) - you deserved it (3732)

On 10/05/2011 at 6:49am - work - by Matt - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18274) - you deserved it (11891)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, while trying to get my phone to charge, I shoved in the cable harder and harder and tried to wobble it so my phone would charge. After snapping the USB input from the force, I saw the plug was switched off. FML

#18106914
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6279) - you deserved it (38513)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Poole)

Today, I had a huge yard sale. Since I live in a good neighborhood, I decided to leave the stuff out tonight rather than pack it all in for only a few hours. The news didn't say anything about the impending severe thunderstorm. FML

#19580691
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7642) - you deserved it (30588)

On 05/06/2012 at 3:38am - misc - by penguindude82 - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: