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Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (4405)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend peed her pants while we were sledding. I could feel it trickling down into my pants. FML

#14012574
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30794) - you deserved it (2786)

On 11/28/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother asked me if I'd heard of anal sex. Before I could fully process her question, she explained that it's dangerous because the tissues of the anus are finer and more susceptible to STDs. There were still forty minutes left in our car ride. FML

#10991585
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41670) - you deserved it (4189)

On 06/05/2010 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by SlickMcK - United States (New York)

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

#11558883
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11035) - you deserved it (32195)

On 06/30/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML

#14681491
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22932) - you deserved it (8059)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by shadowfigure (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was the waiter for my family at the village inn. This wasn't so bad until I found out they left me no tip, only a napkin that said, "Get a haircut." FML

#17106364
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26040) - you deserved it (3467)

On 07/14/2011 at 10:17am - work - by alek - United States

Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML

#17162768
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31157) - you deserved it (4108)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:22pm - health - by deeenalynn - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a drunk crashed a truck into my porch. Shaken up, I was glad to see that so many of my neighbors had gathered around to comfort me. When the dust settled, I noticed my remaining porch furniture was missing. They weren't consoling me, they were casing the place. FML

#17259270
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (2874)

On 07/25/2011 at 9:32pm - misc - by ypsitucky (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to El Pollo Loco for the $10.00 special. I ordered from the pimple-faced kid at the register, pulled out two fives, and he said, "That'll be 9.70, I gave you the senior discount." I'm 10 years away from that. Thank you? FML

#17282563
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29445) - you deserved it (6409)

On 07/28/2011 at 12:22am - misc - by Not That Old (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the engineers I work with believe that a woman with an engineering degree working in an engineering company is apparently equivalent to a "secretary for engineers." I am that woman. FML

#17734062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30942) - you deserved it (3450)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I went to see my grandfather in hospital, to see how well he's recovering from his stroke. He asked who I was. After I told him I'm his grand-daughter, his head almost rolled off his neck in disappointment. FML

Today, my boyfriend informed me that the mother of his children, from whom he is not divorced yet, is moving back into his house because she broke up with her boyfriend and has nowhere to go. FML

#18459025
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (8073)

On 12/08/2011 at 6:55am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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