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Today, I came home to find my parents wearing Santa hats and blasting Christmas music at full volume. So begins three months of hell. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

by IDon't / 10/13/2013 at 6:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML

by xHoho / 11/26/2013 at 12:50am / United States (North Dakota) / Love

Today, while visiting my grandparents, my grandpa decided to explain to me the real reason that the old sofa I was sitting on had always been so discolored. He says they were bleach stains left while cleaning up the mess made during my father's conception. FML

by estranger / 01/03/2014 at 5:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed that the condom in my wallet has been there so long it's left a mark. FML

by arsenalfcboy / 01/20/2014 at 4:31am / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that if I'm not home and my roommates have girls over, my room is the designated "fart room". FML

by Anonymous / 05/25/2014 at 11:52pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

by mymumdidntloveme / 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2014 at 7:04pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Animals

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

by PerfectVision / 09/11/2014 at 2:49am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend. He said it was because he lived 2 hours away, but I think the ultrasound photos his other girlfriend posted proudly on his Facebook wall are the real reason. FML

by kitkat / 09/17/2014 at 3:48pm / United States / Love

Today, I received an email from an angry parent, demanding that I give his daughter an A on a project which I had given her a 0 on. The project was to pick an article related to science and to write an essay on it. Hers was a hoax article relating to Ebola patients rising from the dead. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2014 at 4:46pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, a revolving door got the better of me. I made it into the crowded lobby, unlike my skirt. Bad day to wear a thong. FML

by Oopsie / 07/28/2015 at 1:18pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was late to work and couldn't get my gas tank open. Panicking, I asked the only person around to help me who happened to be a very large man. He was able to open it for me and seemed really nice. That is until he pulled out a knife and robbed me. FML

by unfortunate / 06/09/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous