Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while shopping with my mother, she handed me a frozen turkey to put in the cart, but ended up swinging it into my nuts instead. I feel like a giant battered eggplant, and I think I'm now impotent. FML

#8774277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19397) - you deserved it (2932)

On 03/02/2010 at 2:57pm - health - by beateneggs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went on a date with a guy that I have been crushing on for 2 years. At the end of the date he tells me that he is moving away and as his going away present, I could pay for dinner. FML

#8547609
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26399) - you deserved it (2558)

On 02/22/2010 at 6:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML

#13045440
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24810) - you deserved it (6146)

On 09/14/2010 at 3:57am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was massively hungover and driving home. I had a strong suspicion that I was gonna ralph so I was smart and pulled over. I emptied the contents of my stomach into a shopping bag and was proud I didn't make a mess all over the car. Seconds later, the bottom of the bag gave out. FML

#8876502
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9072) - you deserved it (23303)

On 03/06/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by Octobre (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18828) - you deserved it (3504)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, I got a separation agreement from my wife. It was sent from the lawyer she spent the long weekend with right before she told me it was over. FML

#12951031
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24572) - you deserved it (2096)

On 09/07/2010 at 5:30pm - love - by Glutton for Punishment. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a comedy club, and the girl behind me was drinking. Before she swallowed it, the comedian said something funny, making her spit it all in my hair. I had just had it done for my sister's wedding tomorrow. FML

#13190418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26896) - you deserved it (5758)

On 09/25/2010 at 12:49am - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered my mom had sold all of our summer clothes over the winter on eBay because we're short on cash. However, I am allowed to cut off the sleeves of all my long sleeve shirts and the legs off my jeans to stay cool in the summer. Nothing's more attractive than looking trashy, right? FML

#9047777
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26216) - you deserved it (2635)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:16pm - money - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a pair of ankle weights for my birthday. How utterly romantic. FML

#10656263
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21544) - you deserved it (4610)

On 05/20/2010 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that that tingly feeling on my face when I put a new combination of acne wash, acne medication, and my usual moisturizer on was not, in fact, "it working." It was slowly peeling away the top layer of skin. I look and feel sunburned. I also still have acne and oily skin. FML

#12549238
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24152) - you deserved it (5571)

On 08/15/2010 at 11:12pm - health - by Tingly (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

#9016591
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5018) - you deserved it (27226)

On 03/12/2010 at 2:35am - misc - by LXA429 - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got to my weekly drama group a bit late. Everyone looked surprised when I walked in. Casually, I sat down and apologised for being late. I thought everyone looked awkward, probably because it turned out I'd been kicked out of the group. The teacher had decided to announce it before making sure I'd got the email. FML

#13045584
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21438) - you deserved it (2912)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:31am - misc - by a7xforever (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, hoping to avoid the rain because I had just gotten an expensive perm, I ducked under an awning. At that moment, the store manager shook the awning, and about 6 hours of rain dumped on my head. FML

#11853841
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31094) - you deserved it (7684)

On 07/13/2010 at 3:43pm - misc - by dammitrain (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: