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Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

#19519043
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8493) - you deserved it (25408)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:48pm - intimacy - by hjkashld (man) - United States

Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML

#19311735
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14120) - you deserved it (8495)

On 03/20/2012 at 12:33am - health - by insightful - Australia

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21075) - you deserved it (3789)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML

#19776443
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15647) - you deserved it (11761)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I slipped in a pile of vomit someone left for me on the train platform on the way to work, spraying puke all over both of my legs. It's only 6:30am. It's going to be a long day. FML

Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML

#19414081
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19728) - you deserved it (4130)

On 04/05/2012 at 8:41pm - health - by TwiceDaily,Kids (man) - United States

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

#20074089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17642) - you deserved it (5612)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:00am - love - by distracted - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML

#20075333
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15613) - you deserved it (1331)

On 09/16/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by Blueberry (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I started my new job, and was introduced to my colleague. She seemed old and quite experienced, so I thought she was going to teach me. I was wrong. It turns out I'm a replacement for her daughter, who used to secretly do all of her work for her because she has no idea how to do it herself. FML

#19992409
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19523) - you deserved it (1254)

On 07/30/2012 at 9:00am - work - by Frustation - United States

Today, I got really bored at work. I decided to spin myself around and around in my chair until I got really dizzy. Apparently my boss decided to start watching me do this while I was in mid-spin. FML

#19775429
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4746) - you deserved it (22626)

On 06/12/2012 at 6:43am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my boss fired me for "fooling around" on my phone. I was looking for supplies for a surprise party we are throwing him for his birthday, and I didn't want to do it on my work computer because he has access to our history. Also, this happened during my lunch break. FML

#19961879
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26956) - you deserved it (1424)

On 07/20/2012 at 12:58am - work - by are you kidding me???? - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I purposely misspelled words while texting my boyfriend so he would think I was out partying and having a life. FML

#20048535
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7855) - you deserved it (23746)

On 08/29/2012 at 9:33pm - misc - by nolife - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends and I planned to go to a waterpark together. However, due to a "miscommunication," I, and only I, was given both the wrong time and the wrong meeting place. I spent three hours sitting in a parking lot in little more than my swimming suit. FML

#20004339
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19858) - you deserved it (2247)

On 08/05/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by crissy becks - United States (California)



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