Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

#17394745
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25097) - you deserved it (3356)

On 08/07/2011 at 4:08am - misc - by fugachumi - United States (Texas)

Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML

#17820247
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26701) - you deserved it (4565)

On 09/24/2011 at 11:22am - work - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I picked off what I thought was a small bug feeding on my skin. I was wrong. It was a mole. I spent the last 30 minutes trying to stop the continuous bleeding. FML

#17514634
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26228) - you deserved it (10442)

On 08/18/2011 at 11:22pm - health - by c.hip - United States (California)

Today, my license to carry a gun expired because my manager forgot to renew it. As I'm an armored car guard, this is a problem. In order to keep getting hours, my company transferred me to the coin vault. I just finished moving 15000 lbs of boxed coins. By hand. I'm stuck doing this for a month. FML

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

#17646290
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (4380)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a guy in a fancy car tailed me for twenty minutes, just so he could take a picture of my license plate and tell me there's a $300 fine for flicking cigarette ashes out your window. FML

#19394810
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11077) - you deserved it (29679)

On 04/02/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

#19404760
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21227) - you deserved it (2302)

On 04/04/2012 at 12:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had food poisoning. When I was finally able to drag myself to the kitchen for some Gatorade, I got stung by a wasp. FML

#19575961
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26075) - you deserved it (2171)

On 05/05/2012 at 3:19am - health - by markzar - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the couple with three noisy toddlers in the apartment above mine finally moved out. A couple with a non-stop crying newborn moved in. FML

#19097249
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27316) - you deserved it (2955)

On 02/16/2012 at 6:30pm - kids - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my father, who's never played much part in my life, told me how proud he is of me. I choked back tears, and we hugged for the first time in years. Later, I choked back my rage when I saw he'd opened my mail and obviously planned on leeching my new-found SSI money off me. FML

#19937042
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27124) - you deserved it (2094)

On 07/14/2012 at 12:46pm - money - by Natalie - United States (Florida)

Today, my company had a Halloween party. I was so excited seeing as our company never does anything, so I pulled out all the stops with my costume. I was the only one who got dressed up. FML

#20144153
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25247) - you deserved it (3462)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:17am - work - by PieterseMJ - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32955) - you deserved it (2741)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

#20493545
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31024) - you deserved it (3765)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: