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Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML

#17876001
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28824) - you deserved it (2457)

On 10/01/2011 at 1:17am - misc - by Sickofbeingsick (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went back to the key cutter for the second time because apartment key I gave to my boyfriend didn't work. The man cut me another key and apologised profusely. When I got home and tried the key, it didn't work. I realised I'd asked him to copy the wrong key. Twice. FML

#16313970
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7858) - you deserved it (39650)

On 05/23/2011 at 3:14pm - misc - by M (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I almost missed the bus. I grabbed my backpack and ran out the door. It wasn't until after we got to school that I realized I was still in my slippers. FML

#16493871
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23683) - you deserved it (8520)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:00am - misc - by Connie - United States (New York)

Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML

#19262944
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7671) - you deserved it (22988)

On 03/12/2012 at 4:03am - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I learned from the noise outside my window that construction workers start their days at 5 AM. FML

#17385440
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23068) - you deserved it (2802)

On 08/06/2011 at 5:28am - health - by LH0026 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

#19348017
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26280) - you deserved it (2510)

On 03/25/2012 at 10:53pm - health - by John (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, the tree that my neighbors have neglected to cut down fell on my car. They claim that by law, they aren't responsible and don't have to pay for it. FML

#16003860
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34275) - you deserved it (3032)

On 05/01/2011 at 12:31pm - money - by me - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my car broke down in the middle of the street. Lucky for me, two guys helped me push my car to the side of the road. Right when I was about to thank them, they stole my purse. FML

#18020757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29592) - you deserved it (2582)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by mommydearist - United States (Texas)

Today, I got my paycheck. I was really excited since I've been broke for the last two weeks. On my way home, I got pulled over and got a ticket for expired tags. The $90 for new tags plus $135 for the citation will leave me with enough to buy a burger. FML

#16645902
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19629) - you deserved it (26228)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:06pm - money - by fuckcops (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

#16542876
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29042) - you deserved it (3235)

On 06/07/2011 at 5:28am - love - by S. Tucker - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

#19348769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18677) - you deserved it (1887)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by Ringo McDingo (man) - United States

Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML

#18610644
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25318) - you deserved it (2254)

On 12/25/2011 at 8:35pm - misc - by laststand11 - Reserved

Today, my doctor told me that the reason I'm losing my eyesight is because I'm straining my eyes, and that the best thing for me to do is to limit my time in front of computers. I spent years in college to get my current job which involves sitting in front of computers. FML

#18111169
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24880) - you deserved it (2295)

On 10/30/2011 at 12:31pm - health - by comedybreak - United States (California)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

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