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Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML

#18695783
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18002) - you deserved it (7785)

On 01/03/2012 at 9:57am - health - by fatandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother described what her ideal daughter-in-law should be like. Half-way through her description, fishing for some compliments, I told her that such a girl would be way above my league. She sighed and emphatically agreed. FML

#19643133
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15939) - you deserved it (7821)

On 05/18/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML

#16824027
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10645) - you deserved it (31501)

On 06/23/2011 at 10:00pm - misc - by gypsy - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after spending hours putting up our tree and decorating it, it fell over and shattered the glass ornaments. FML

#18359248
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (3038)

On 11/26/2011 at 7:12pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML

#19211891
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15063) - you deserved it (2191)

On 03/04/2012 at 12:51am - animals - by raven_teen_titan - United States (California)

Today, it took me 5 hours to paint my deck, only to have it ruined by the neighbors cat running all over the undry paint. FML

#16956212
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (2835)

On 07/03/2011 at 12:47am - animals - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

#19343109
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20288) - you deserved it (1661)

On 03/25/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by LesToiliettes - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML

#16937181
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22694) - you deserved it (2580)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:23pm - misc - by xXx3mi_MuffinxXx (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

#19348017
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (2278)

On 03/25/2012 at 10:53pm - health - by John (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, my car broke down in the middle of the street. Lucky for me, two guys helped me push my car to the side of the road. Right when I was about to thank them, they stole my purse. FML

#18020757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26144) - you deserved it (2340)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by mommydearist - United States (Texas)

Today, it's been three weeks since I started using a hair-growth shampoo in the hopes of combating my balding. All it's done so far is make the hair I do have monstrously bushy, both upstairs and down. FML

#19658490
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15303) - you deserved it (3590)

On 05/21/2012 at 6:47pm - health - by bear - Norway (Nordland)

Today, I learned how unhappy my husband is in our marriage. Apparently he also can't find a good woman. We didn't have a heart-to-heart, I read his woes in a blog. FML

#16542876
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27125) - you deserved it (3066)

On 06/07/2011 at 5:28am - love - by S. Tucker - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, I managed to knock down the curtains by my bed. That would explain the gash on my head and blood on my bed. FML

#19348769
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15888) - you deserved it (1662)

On 03/26/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by Ringo McDingo (man) - United States



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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