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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out that my old roommate used to clean her goldfish bowl with my toothbrush. We lived together for six months. FML

#19287473
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21093) - you deserved it (1792)

On 03/16/2012 at 5:02am - misc - by disgusted - United States

Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML

#19694666
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18148) - you deserved it (11830)

On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, my landlady roasted a joint of beef and the whole house smelled wonderful. OK, even if I am a masochistic vegetarian and former omnivore, that was way beyond cruel. FML

#19152969
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7621) - you deserved it (28577)

On 02/24/2012 at 10:28am - misc - by i2xl (woman) - Canada

Today, while trying to get my phone to charge, I shoved in the cable harder and harder and tried to wobble it so my phone would charge. After snapping the USB input from the force, I saw the plug was switched off. FML

#18106914
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6240) - you deserved it (38328)

On 10/29/2011 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Poole)

Today, I learned that it doesn't matter how good you've screwed a satellite dish onto the side of your house, it won't stop the wind the ripping it off and taking half the wall with it. FML

#19143991
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21156) - you deserved it (2633)

On 02/23/2012 at 2:03am - misc - by Blueshock08 - United States (Florida)

Today, I had a huge yard sale. Since I live in a good neighborhood, I decided to leave the stuff out tonight rather than pack it all in for only a few hours. The news didn't say anything about the impending severe thunderstorm. FML

#19580691
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7196) - you deserved it (29363)

On 05/06/2012 at 3:38am - misc - by penguindude82 - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend who I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I find out that last time he saw me, I was blind drunk and vomiting after propositioning him all evening. FML

#18633167
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (26773)

On 12/28/2011 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I moved out of my apartment by the highway and airport, and into a new place below people who blast loud music, stomp their feet, and slam doors throughout the night. I haven't had a decent night's sleep in over a year. FML

Today, I gave my little brother my iPhone so he could play a game. I soon forgot about it, and when I got it back two hours later, there was pudding and a couple of big cracks in it. FML

#19166508
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14748) - you deserved it (27329)

On 02/26/2012 at 8:53am - kids - by unknown - United States (Maryland)

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

#19011410
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26198) - you deserved it (1825)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:43pm - health - by Marc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a co-worker. I got her the job. FML

#19025150
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22118) - you deserved it (3574)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:08am - love - by D-Man (man) - United States

Today, I returned to my university residence following spring break. I was greeted by a letter stating I'd been caught on camera vandalising a wall repair. At the time in question, I was asleep on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The REZ coordinator is avoiding me, and I can't clear my name. FML

#19295579
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (1613)

On 03/17/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by CutePenguin (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML

#20032826
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21962) - you deserved it (14877)

On 08/20/2012 at 10:30pm - misc - by ThisGirl (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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