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Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162348) - you deserved it (47420)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went into labor with my first child, and as much as I pleaded, I had to wait for my husband to finish his raid in World of Warcraft before he'd take me to the hospital. FML

#14093813
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67088) - you deserved it (10340)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:38am - health - by newmother (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was rushed to the hospital because I was crying so hard I couldn't breathe. Why was I crying? My favorite anime character died. FML

#7711889
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16095) - you deserved it (75040)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:54pm - misc - by Obsessed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42549) - you deserved it (191870)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62062) - you deserved it (4882)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (143270) - you deserved it (11822)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31006) - you deserved it (5759)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11595) - you deserved it (45758)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83072) - you deserved it (14192)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my new girlfriend is a screamer. This would normally turn me on, except she sounds like she's being murdered with a rusty fork. FML

#20193609
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34604) - you deserved it (3986)

On 12/06/2012 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Dontwaketheneighbors (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38228) - you deserved it (6916)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

#14209243
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40330) - you deserved it (9556)

On 12/15/2010 at 12:42am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)



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