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Today, I successfully stopped my hair straightener from falling into a bathtub full of water by grabbing hold of the burning hot plates. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15837) - you deserved it (5181)
On 08/06/2012 at 11:08pm - health - by anonymous - Australia
Today, my husband and I stopped at a scenic overlook on top of a mountain. I looked down and noticed several small shells and excitedly called him over. I said, "I can't believe I found fossils here!" The moment it came out of my mouth, I realized they were pistachio shells. So did he. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4584) - you deserved it (12991)
On 07/17/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12814) - you deserved it (1191)
On 07/01/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by plzdontclapme -
Today, I found out my home health patient purposely drinks tons of prune juice every night so I will have a huge mess to clean up in the morning because I'm "a lazy bastard" and I "need to work harder." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17913) - you deserved it (1709)
On 07/03/2012 at 11:08am - work - by melikeyturtles - United States (Illinois)
Today, I used a red-eye removal tool on one of my photos. I quickly realised how bad my acne is when the software couldn't distinguish between my eyes and cheeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17535) - you deserved it (1948) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, it was my twenty-first birthday, and a couple of friends took me out to celebrate. After ordering us shots throughout the night, my friends took off abruptly, leaving me with my very first bar tab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18742) - you deserved it (1993)
On 08/11/2012 at 1:53pm - money - by Chamorru (man) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7477) - you deserved it (20230)
On 07/29/2012 at 1:12am - misc - by daydreamer (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14055) - you deserved it (2833)
On 09/13/2012 at 2:02am - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15678) - you deserved it (3402)
On 08/10/2012 at 2:54pm - love - by Darth Vomitus (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14540) - you deserved it (1039)
On 09/27/2012 at 4:19am - misc - by Creeped - United States
Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (911)
On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States
Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9967) - you deserved it (30466)
On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States
Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26396) - you deserved it (1692)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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