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Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow I said "that's funny I don't play tennis". Then he asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no he said "Well I guess we solved this one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63496) - you deserved it (16087)
On 04/04/2009 at 12:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9017) - you deserved it (85489)
On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
I agree, your life sucks (68940) - you deserved it (16885)
On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24473) - you deserved it (65188)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (123902) - you deserved it (4825)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (227486) - you deserved it (13766)
On 04/04/2009 at 2:15pm - intimacy - by GuitarChick42 (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37778) - you deserved it (3637)
On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29137) - you deserved it (1719)
On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21707) - you deserved it (35686)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82206) - you deserved it (30307)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (100807) - you deserved it (4720)
On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41892) - you deserved it (12578)
On 01/26/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I had a job interview. When I got there, the lady interviewing me shook my hand and said, 'Hello, I'm gay.' I found this strange and I didn't know what to say, so I stated, 'Aw, it's OK, I support you.' She looked pretty offended, and I realized why when I found out that her name was Gaye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29125) - you deserved it (12820)
On 11/04/2010 at 5:18am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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