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Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23708) - you deserved it (5162)
On 02/20/2012 at 9:23am - intimacy - by Gabi - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time for us to leave, I saw him write something on the receipt for our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24758) - you deserved it (1938)
On 04/17/2012 at 10:54am - love - by unloved (woman) - United States
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18935) - you deserved it (4868)
On 02/02/2012 at 8:02pm - love - by lillymean (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I discovered I have really bad dandruff. I learned this when I went indoor mini golfing and my whole upper body lit up like a Christmas tree underneath the black light. Among my friends I'm now known as the abominable snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15852) - you deserved it (3301)
On 04/22/2012 at 1:24am - health - by Andrew7847 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my sister and I were watching the Olympics. Michael Phelps was on the screen, and I was thinking how hot he is. My sister commented on how he looks so much like our brother. I can never look at either of them the same way ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16798) - you deserved it (2546)
On 08/01/2012 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I corrected someone who spelled "learned" as "learnt" on my favorite forum. Nothing could've prepared me for the torrent of abuse that followed from the non-American members. Now I'm banned for "trolling," and all my 7,000+ posts since 2006 are gone forever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11565) - you deserved it (31657)
On 05/08/2012 at 6:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18165) - you deserved it (2897)
On 04/27/2012 at 8:04am - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my son paid the price for emulating his idols, aka the sub-human scum on Jersey Shore. He called me from jail and actually had the balls to try to guilt me into bailing him out, after he'd been arrested for punching his girlfriend at a liquor store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24430) - you deserved it (2961)
On 06/15/2012 at 8:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22319) - you deserved it (3165)
On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at a bus stop making small talk with a really nice girl, when all of a sudden some kids let off firecrackers behind me. I shrieked like a little girl and practically jumped into her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12779) - you deserved it (2911)
On 05/15/2012 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awake during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15360) - you deserved it (7352)
On 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was napping when my little brother cut off huge chunks of my hair. He thought it would turn me into the older brother he always wanted. He's 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17841) - you deserved it (1166)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:44pm - kids - by TimeForAHairCut - United States (Oregon)
Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12868) - you deserved it (2309)
On 08/24/2012 at 5:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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