Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31807) - you deserved it (2558)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States
Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30751) - you deserved it (8224)
On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33333) - you deserved it (3227)
On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31490) - you deserved it (5313)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)
Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30249) - you deserved it (8005)
On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (5415)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36317) - you deserved it (6775)
On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35215) - you deserved it (4596)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33912) - you deserved it (2321)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by earplugsplease (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32556) - you deserved it (3219)
On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25433) - you deserved it (19420)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22213) - you deserved it (2894)
On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (9541)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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