Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 7 February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was forced to get up in front of ten swim teams, including my own, and a hundred spectators to swim 100 yards with an obvious boner sticking out of my suit. FML

#21523419
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10446) - you deserved it (1756)

On 02/06/2016 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by notagoodtime - United States (California)

Today, I saw an elderly woman struggling to reach the top shelf in my local grocery store, so I went over and asked if she needed help. She then accused me of flirting with her and had me escorted from the property. FML

#21521652
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18625) - you deserved it (1251)

On 02/01/2016 at 1:07am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

#21521769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18666) - you deserved it (4674)

On 02/01/2016 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by IsThisRealLife (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving back home when I saw a yellow object flying off my roof of my car through the side mirrors. I thought nothing of it, then I noticed that I didn't have my phone with me. That's when I realized that the "flying yellow object" was my phone. FML

#21521941
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16663) - you deserved it (6186)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to my grandma's house to visit. She's an elderly woman, so I asked if there was anything I could do to help. She told me to take the dog out, so I did, but one thing she didn't tell me is that her dog loves to take explosive shits everywhere. FML

#21521987
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17225) - you deserved it (1468)

On 02/02/2016 at 12:37am - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got to work and saw a new desk had been setup on stilts. 'Oh, who got the standing desk?' I asked. Turns out it's for the guy in the wheelchair who was right behind me. It needs to be high so the controls of his wheelchair can fit under the desk. FML

#21522017
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17276) - you deserved it (3310)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, my cellphone-hating teacher called someone during class, so I called him out about it. Turned out his wife was having a tumor removed, and he was calling to see if she was okay. FML

Today, I found out that my tax filing status was never changed after my divorce. This means I haven't been paying enough and now the government wants its money. FML

#21522112
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18666) - you deserved it (3703)

On 02/02/2016 at 1:48pm - money - by sideeffect001 (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I heard some gossip at school about a weird kid who supposedly jerks off at every house he visits. They were talking about my brother. FML

#21522719
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (1279)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:53am - intimacy - by concernedsis - United States (Georgia)

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

#21523112
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15629) - you deserved it (1844)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:33pm - misc - by UUUGHHH (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my cat shoved his claw up my nose and got it stuck there. FML

#21523143
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14766) - you deserved it (1335)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:51pm - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my step-mom that my medication is causing me to lose weight. She looked me up and down and suggested I triple my dosage. FML

#21523215
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13684) - you deserved it (1334)

On 02/05/2016 at 10:11pm - misc - by cuntingbitchofawhore - United States (Indiana)

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

#21523269
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8829) - you deserved it (6967)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: