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Saturday 1 August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a 4 or 5 month-long dry spell, I woke up next to an amazing and beautiful woman. Neither of us were wearing pants. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Did I piss the bed?" FML

#21448401
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21412) - you deserved it (2494)

On 07/28/2015 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my sister and I were planning a trip to get away from things and visit some faraway friends. My dad then decided to insert himself into our plans. He got mad when we said no, and couldn't understand why we wanted to go by ourselves. FML

#21448997
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19346) - you deserved it (1999)

On 07/29/2015 at 8:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

#21449035
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24379) - you deserved it (1921)

On 07/29/2015 at 11:30am - money - by fukingtigans (man) - Croatia (Zadarska)

Today, I came home to find my mom drunk. She asked me for a hug and then started crying, "Where's my daughter?" I'm her daughter. And her only child, as far as I know. FML

#21449052
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18708) - you deserved it (1255)

On 07/29/2015 at 1:07pm - misc - by roselysunset (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a baseball game, I smiled and waved at the little girl in front of me. She cried. FML

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for smiling and laughing too much. Last week, he reprimanded me for not smiling and laughing enough. FML

#21449263
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21388) - you deserved it (1437)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was detained for trying to "illegally enter" my house, all because my parents forgot to tell me they were being evicted. FML

#21449546
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21560) - you deserved it (1257)

On 07/30/2015 at 1:38pm - misc - by College_Grad (woman) -

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work, I saw a lady leave her infant in a display crib so she could go shopping. When I stopped her and told her she couldn't do that, she said, "Well, I do it all the time". FML

#21450242
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11202) - you deserved it (741)

On 07/31/2015 at 11:30pm - kids - by Oihana - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

#21448527
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22408) - you deserved it (1994)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got fired from my new job on my first day. Why? Because I'm 19 and company policy says you have to be 21. But they can't ask how old you are. FML

#21449086
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (1885)

On 07/29/2015 at 2:40pm - work - by jobless and broke - United States (Arizona)

Today, I witnessed my dad spreading his ass cheeks to show my mom the rashes his hemorrhoids are giving him. FML

#21450116
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13259) - you deserved it (1066)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:48pm - misc - by smf_ds - Portugal (Porto)

Today, while volunteering at my local animal shelter, I was asked to clean the cat room. This entailed taking each cat out of its cage by hand and cleaning the inside. They forgot to mention that some of the cats were feral. I now look like I belly flopped into a cactus. FML

Today, my grandpa set out snare traps to catch the foxes that have been around our property, because he wanted to protect our dog from being attacked by them. I then got a phone call from my dad telling me our dog got caught in one. FML

#21450211
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12166) - you deserved it (1187)

On 07/31/2015 at 10:31pm - animals - by C_Ramirez1695 - United States (Texas)



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Friday 31 July 2015

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