Saturday 18 May 2013 
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Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15038) - you deserved it (26616)
On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33423) - you deserved it (3659)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34503) - you deserved it (7736)
On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)
Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34740) - you deserved it (1944)
On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my little brother gave me a candy bar for my birthday. After I ate the entire thing, he told me it was Ex-Lax and that I needed it because I'm "so full of shit". FML
I agree, your life sucks (28606) - you deserved it (4518)
On 05/17/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by Unlucky Individual - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31321) - you deserved it (1927)
On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27725) - you deserved it (7248)
On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28396) - you deserved it (1631)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States
Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29555) - you deserved it (2450)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States
Today, my new neighbor moved in. Because she was fairly young, I offered to mow her grass whenever it needed cut. Her dad then tried to start a fight with me because he thought it was sexual come-on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30210) - you deserved it (5104)
On 05/14/2013 at 7:52pm - misc - by Brenden - United States (Ohio)
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (5286)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34271) - you deserved it (6361)
On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)
Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32540) - you deserved it (4261)
On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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