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Sunday 23 November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

#21301400
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39270) - you deserved it (3334)

On 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by steak through the heart - United States (California)

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

#21301556
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (5417)

On 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a date, and I went to put my arm around her, trying to be romantic, but my coordination went straight to hell. Instead of her shoulder, I ended up accidentally grabbing her tit. FML

#21302056
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26742) - you deserved it (6489)

On 11/19/2014 at 12:03pm - love - by oops (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I heard my mother say, "I feel bad for any girl that marries him because he's, what's the word? Metrosexual!" To my girlfriend. About me. FML

#21300656
66 comments

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26408) - you deserved it (2930)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents gave me fat burner pills for my birthday. FML

#21300816
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31159) - you deserved it (4853)

On 11/17/2014 at 4:05pm - misc - by fatty - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML

Today, while lying in bed cuddling with my cat after getting stood up, I found out that even 80-year-old Charles Manson is engaged to be married. FML

#21301256
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28425) - you deserved it (2940)

On 11/18/2014 at 5:41am - love - by jessiejaybee (woman) - United States

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

#21302094
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28131) - you deserved it (5643)

On 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm - misc - by limpdick9 - United States (California)

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26213) - you deserved it (2762)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

#21302674
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (2347)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl said to me, "Sorry, but I have a boyfriend". I hadn't said anything to her. FML

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26908) - you deserved it (2022)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)



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