Saturday 18 May 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34147) - you deserved it (4015)
On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28022) - you deserved it (15168)
On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33688) - you deserved it (2227)
On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25030) - you deserved it (10669)
On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36042) - you deserved it (2733)
On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (33047) - you deserved it (3066)
On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (1949)
On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States
Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33073) - you deserved it (2104)
On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23022) - you deserved it (5760)
On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (2132)
On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was at the supermarket when an elderly lady asked if I'd grab some coffee for her from a high shelf. The moment I took my hands off my almost-full shopping cart, she made off with it. I ended up getting thrown out by security after she claimed I was trying to steal it from her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35302) - you deserved it (2389)
On 05/13/2013 at 3:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29409) - you deserved it (2527)
On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33361) - you deserved it (3652)
On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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