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Saturday 2 August 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my best friend became my step-dad. FML

#21226798
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19840) - you deserved it (1277)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband decided to play a recording of me breaking wind in my sleep to my whole family at the dinner table. To make matters worse, it was a compilation of different noises from over a long period of time. My family was horrified and my husband seemed proud of himself. FML

#21222673
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34234) - you deserved it (3538)

On 07/28/2014 at 12:36am - misc - by blow away - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I met someone who works in radio advertising. Making conversation, I described an ad that I can't stand. He wrote it. FML

#21222884
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33876) - you deserved it (8027)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:16am - work - by Scotty (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28107) - you deserved it (4900)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

#21225823
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26893) - you deserved it (2945)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML

#21223478
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36565) - you deserved it (2997)

On 07/29/2014 at 4:27am - misc - by Tiny (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I loved him for the first time. The L-word is probably one of the only things I'm scared to say, so what did he do? He stared at me blankly before making a farting noise with his mouth and asking if he could go get Chicken Express for dinner. FML

#21224360
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33031) - you deserved it (3732)

On 07/30/2014 at 12:41am - love - by Humiliated & Heart-Broken - United States (Texas)

Today, I had trouble carrying a box upstairs because my arms were sore from working out. My mom asked me, "Why are you working out so much then?" I didn't have the heart to tell her it was because of her 100-pound weight gain and that I didn't want to end up looking like her. FML

#21225648
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30961) - you deserved it (4661)

On 07/31/2014 at 7:51am - health - by jogginglikeitsmyjob (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my ex-boyfriend surprised me with a gorgeous, giant stuffed tiger as a belated birthday gift. I thought it was a lovely gesture until a friend told me she had thrown it in the dumpster behind our building this morning. FML

#21226147
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20760) - you deserved it (1868)

On 07/31/2014 at 8:17pm - love - by Does this thought count? (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my father tripped over the dog and hit a wall. He was so convinced his arm was broken that we waited for 3 hours in emergency to find out he had a bruise. FML

#21225316
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (2304)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:12pm - misc - by anon - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got into trouble at work because a customer complained about my face tattoo, I don't have a face tattoo but I do have one behind my ear. Nonetheless, I still got written up and had to cover it with a band-aid, which ripped out hair when I took it off. FML

#21225337
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27005) - you deserved it (7860)

On 07/30/2014 at 11:28pm - work - by heatherfeather22 - United States (Iowa)

Today, the city shut off our water, because they said we didn't pay the bill. Turns out, it was sitting on their desk the whole time. I guess sending someone out to turn off our water was easier than checking to see if we'd actually paid the bill. FML

#21225552
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30345) - you deserved it (1950)

On 07/31/2014 at 3:35am - money - by fedUPwithPEOPLE (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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