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Friday 28 November 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (3988)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that customers at my work ask me "Are you new or just stupid?" just as often as they did when I first started. FML

#21305199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (6507)

On 11/24/2014 at 2:21pm - work - by stupid - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in a good mood for once and my professor looks at me and says, "I don't know what you ate for breakfast but you're really annoying today." FML

#21305482
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24742) - you deserved it (2869)

On 11/24/2014 at 10:25pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally got time to take a nap. Later, my mom asked me if I was depressed because I didn't leave my room for 3 hours. She talked to my dad about it, and now my family thinks I'm depressed because I slept for 3 hours. FML

#21306606
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21562) - you deserved it (1613)

On 11/27/2014 at 2:06am - misc - by Sleep. - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to end a first date with the words, "You can get out of my car and go upstairs yourself, or I can come around and drag you out, bring you up the stairs, and knock on your door," because he'd gotten completely plastered in a span of about three hours. And yes, I had to drag him. FML

Today, my mom booked a family trip to Sweden. This would be great, if she hadn't asked me to tell our former German exchange student that we were coming to visit her in Germany. She was thrilled. Now I have to be the one to let her down. FML

#21305750
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23346) - you deserved it (1921)

On 11/25/2014 at 11:14am - misc - by Blöde Gans - United States (Florida)

Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML

#21306100
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30793) - you deserved it (1992)

On 11/26/2014 at 9:13am - money - by poor man - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother requested that I return the $500 she had previously given me to help me pay for college. Her reasoning? "You work three jobs, you can afford it." I work three jobs because she decided buying herself a car was more important than my schooling. FML

Today, it was my turn to open the bar I work at. As I walked into our terrace, I found our insane upstairs neighbour leaving the scene without a word. This was right before I spotted the steaming pile of dung she'd left behind. FML

#21306439
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19090) - you deserved it (1321)

On 11/26/2014 at 9:04pm - work - by caterinette - Portugal

Today, I thought I'd lost the ring that my boyfriend had given me, in the snow, in the dark. I spent a half hour with a flashlight searching every part of my driveway. The ring was on my kitchen windowsill the whole time. I took it off earlier to do dishes. FML

#21306486
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19384) - you deserved it (4726)

On 11/26/2014 at 10:33pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML

#21307273
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9929) - you deserved it (932)

On 11/28/2014 at 12:25am - misc - by mainlineloser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my little brother learned about mortality when our dog died. Since then, he's gone a little nuts and keeps ranting that he sees no point as to why our other dog should live. He's 16. FML

#21306062
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23446) - you deserved it (1788)

On 11/26/2014 at 7:09am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I went to get myself a latte to make myself feel better after having a bad day. As soon as I sat down to enjoy it, I spilled it all over myself, another customer, and the floor. FML

#21306295
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19741) - you deserved it (2009)

On 11/26/2014 at 4:01pm - misc - by UsuallyaUnicornbread (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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Friday 28 November 2014

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