Saturday 25 May 2013 
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Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42324) - you deserved it (3534)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34283) - you deserved it (2090)
On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13076) - you deserved it (24062)
On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)
Today, I walked in on my husband making out with his accountant, the same woman who comforted me when he cheated on me the year before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43115) - you deserved it (14098)
On 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38051) - you deserved it (3931)
On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)
Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30564) - you deserved it (2702)
On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my extremely religious father visited for a family dinner. My daughter had just one job: not to set him off on one of his easily-provoked rants. She nonetheless decided to take a photo in the middle of prayer, because she just HAD to Instagram her food. My father went apeshit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25561) - you deserved it (4445)
On 05/24/2013 at 12:40pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36459) - you deserved it (5012)
On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)
Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33614) - you deserved it (2450)
On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30174) - you deserved it (4972)
On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34918) - you deserved it (2186)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34540) - you deserved it (2146)
On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)
Today, one of my closest friends informed me that she wasn't going to invite me to her wedding, because I'm too shy and not enough fun, and she doesn't want her 200 or so guests to feel uncomfortable. I was the one who set the happy couple up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43287) - you deserved it (2905)
On 05/23/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Friday 24 May 2013
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