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Monday 10 March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33736) - you deserved it (4930)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML

#21084165
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36505) - you deserved it (9184)

On 03/11/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by shonfyr (man) - Spain

Today, four days after making a $100 bet with my balding, pedo-stache wearing dad over who could get a girlfriend first, he came home and introduced me to his new girlfriend. FML

#21087465
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37652) - you deserved it (10274)

On 03/15/2014 at 5:02pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

#21083937
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33242) - you deserved it (15216)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML

#21086140
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41181) - you deserved it (7455)

On 03/13/2014 at 11:36pm - love - by wabbyfish (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized I'm so scared of my manager that I don't even dare to quit my job. The same job I want to quit exactly because I'm so scared of her. FML

Today, I walked into my elderly client's home for my first day of work. I was immediately hit in the eye with something small, and had to get medical attention for a scratched cornea. It turns out my client likes to clip his toenails right by his front door. FML

#21088031
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38610) - you deserved it (3162)

On 03/16/2014 at 10:00am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had my first job interview after three years of unemployment. I was so happy that I broke down into tears the moment I saw the interviewer. Great first impression. FML

#21083095
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37844) - you deserved it (5916)

On 03/10/2014 at 12:38pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss - AKA Satan - told me I'd better watch out, because I'm now top on his list of people to lay off next time the company downsizes. All I did was give a report to the board admitting that our sales are down this year. He blames me for making him look bad. FML

#21086597
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36062) - you deserved it (3401)

On 03/14/2014 at 3:40pm - work - by fucked (man) - Canada

Today, the heater went out at work. I was shivering so hard that someone thought I was having a seizure. FML

#21083045
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39025) - you deserved it (3655)

On 03/10/2014 at 10:23am - work - by Frozen (man) - United States

Today, upon being asked to name all the planets, I had to sing along to a Lady Gaga song in my head to remember them. FML

#21085874
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28954) - you deserved it (11198)

On 03/13/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Venus - United States (California)

Today, at a staff meeting, our boss sighed and asked why I'm always in the meetings instead of my co-worker. I reminded him that it's because I'm the department supervisor, not my co-worker. He wouldn't believe me until he saw it for himself in our personnel files. FML

#21084802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37903) - you deserved it (3580)

On 03/12/2014 at 12:02pm - work - by KBBL (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we finally moved into our new home, which my husband and I got mostly so our kids could have fun in the spacious backyard. The moment they stepped into the backyard, they were terrorized by the neighbor's dogs, and now refuse to go outside. FML



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