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Monday 10 March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

#21083945
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48816) - you deserved it (6646)

On 03/11/2014 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by littlefinger (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out what it feels like to be slapped in the face with a potted cactus. FML

#21088237
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44036) - you deserved it (6012)

On 03/16/2014 at 3:28pm - health - by thanksdad (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

#21086753
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41399) - you deserved it (35757)

On 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by why - United States (California)

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, I started my first job as a power line technician. My boss's first words to me were, "I have a good feeling about you, kid!" That would've been great if he hadn't said, "Although, the last time I had a good feeling, the guy died." right afterwards. FML

#21085148
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42346) - you deserved it (3454)

On 03/12/2014 at 8:11pm - work - by Anon - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

#21084790
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44557) - you deserved it (5110)

On 03/12/2014 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

#21084613
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46675) - you deserved it (3215)

On 03/12/2014 at 2:39am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them, I was faced with the sight of my boss and a coworker getting it on against my desk. FML

#21087500
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52427) - you deserved it (4878)

On 03/15/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, while I thought I'd never had an orgasm, my doctor informed me that I'm actually having orgasms almost every time I have sex. They just feel like utterly frustrating, slightly painful, unpleasurable and completely unsatisfying muscle contractions. FML

Today, I was walking through the main lobby at school and I saw someone waving at me, so I waved back. Turns out she was just cleaning a glass door. I heard laughter behind me. FML

#21085559
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39352) - you deserved it (5931)

On 03/13/2014 at 7:59am - misc - by Crochocinco85 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44171) - you deserved it (3930)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

#21085066
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (12617)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)



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