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Wednesday 5 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my family and I were celebrating my dad's birthday. The two of us were standing by the pool chatting, and I jokingly said "You're old now." I suppose I should have expected him to shove me into the pool, my phone still in hand, and retort, "You're soaked now." FML

#21054564
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32123) - you deserved it (17027)

On 02/08/2014 at 3:54pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my boyfriend stealing money from my purse. He tried to turn it on me by claiming I'll owe him for the flowers he'll get me on Valentine's Day, then tried to make me feel guilty by saying the whole thing is for "selfish bitches anyway". FML

#21055376
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40435) - you deserved it (4974)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after months of looking at cribs and picking out the perfect one for my unborn daughter, the store informed me that they no longer make that crib, even though the model is right there on the sales floor. I had to leave as my hormones got the best of me and I started bawling. FML

Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML

#21050316
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36809) - you deserved it (3222)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:55pm - health - by even axe would smell better (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML

#21055497
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37308) - you deserved it (4829)

On 02/09/2014 at 4:18pm - misc - by Avomitmous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bournemouth)

Today, as I came home from school, I saw a little rock in the road. I kicked it, intending to send it sailing into the bushes in front of my house. It went wide and sailed straight into a window instead. FML

#21050272
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29577) - you deserved it (14786)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, like every day, I had to walk to my bus stop. The only difference today is there was snow and ice over everything. Not only did I slip and fall, soaking both myself and the contents of my bag, the bus driver saw me there at the bus stop and drove straight past. FML

#21051124
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42534) - you deserved it (3594)

On 02/05/2014 at 9:07am - misc - by no snow day (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39679) - you deserved it (4829)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, a guy drove straight into an intersection, running a stop sign and narrowly missing my car. I had to swerve into a snow bank to avoid him. He stopped long enough to see that I had a toddler in my car, before flipping me off and driving away. FML

#21058102
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44036) - you deserved it (3297)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided the best way to inform me of his shoplifting tendencies was to steal stuff while we were at Starbucks. FML

#21049681
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37414) - you deserved it (4001)

On 02/03/2014 at 8:30pm - love - by lbailey32 - United States (New York)

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

#21053382
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40413) - you deserved it (3268)

On 02/07/2014 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mayotte

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

#21055534
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32916) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/09/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by blushingbride - United States (Georgia)



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