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Wednesday 5 February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML

#21057252
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39383) - you deserved it (23035)

On 02/11/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by FUUUUCK (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37651) - you deserved it (4448)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I watched the Sochi Winter Games online. Excited by an athlete's victory, I yelled out, "YEAH!" to 20-or-so silent coworkers. As if to redeem myself, I then said, "Don't pretend like you're all working you lot!" Our boss was right behind me. FML

#21057961
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22794) - you deserved it (34174) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/12/2014 at 4:47am - work - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

#21052048
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36215) - you deserved it (7522)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:57am - love - by a2 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, wanting to break up with my boyfriend, I invited him to dinner with my parents. I was sure they'd hate him, which would give me the excuse I needed. They ended up loving him, and now they won't stop mentioning marriage. FML

#21053604
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22060) - you deserved it (47332)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

#21057323
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45969) - you deserved it (6015)

On 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by not even getting any of her shrimp (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a teddy bear. I thought it was a sweet thing to do, until I saw him open a slit in its back while visiting later in the day and removing a bag of weed. He gave me a teddy bear just so he could smuggle drugs past my parents. FML

#21049461
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44457) - you deserved it (6108)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, while cleaning a carpet in my house, something in it sliced my foot. I couldn't find what it was, so I went to clean the wound. 10 minutes later, I sliced my foot again on the same thing. I still can't figure out what it was. FML

#21052729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45025) - you deserved it (5368)

On 02/06/2014 at 8:32pm - health - by sashimi9999 - United States (California)

Today, after my car being in the shop for over a day and with no updates from the dealership, I decided to pay them a visit. The place was almost empty, and they hadn't done any work on my car. But judging by the used condom on my back seat, somebody got their own oil checked. FML

#21053684
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43949) - you deserved it (3823)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, trying to do something nice for my brother, I filled up his truck's gas tank. I didn't realize until too late that it's a diesel. FML

#21056297
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37715) - you deserved it (19460)

On 02/10/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by Shooting myself - United States (Illinois)

Today, I logged into my bank account and started crying. Not because of the balance, but because the password is my anniversary with my ex, and it's the only reminder I have of happy days in my life. FML

Today, I worked up the nerve to ask my boss for a raise. Today is also the day I found out my boss has a shitlist of employees he wants to fire, and that I'm now on it. FML

#21053635
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37312) - you deserved it (4239)

On 02/07/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by fuckmyplums (man) - Austria (Salzburg)

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

#21054270
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37616) - you deserved it (6580)

On 02/08/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by grandma - United States (Georgia)



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