Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 30 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I watchd mah father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He trid to play it cool, said, "Haircuts r too expensive these days anyway." and walkd out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. big fat FML

like every other day fir many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42888) - you deserved it (8089) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, mah 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television looool so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter wat we bribe her with. big fat FML

#21010264
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45173) - you deserved it (23515)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah dog found out how to turn mah Xbox off . So whenever he wants attention, guess wat he does . FML

#21019316
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49540) - you deserved it (17653)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I lookd over at friend an said, looool ( Number 33 has a really cute butt. ) The man in front of us turnd around, lookd me dead in the eye, an said, ( Thanks. ) Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46834) - you deserved it (12692)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

YESTERDAY WHEN I AM ASKED TO DO SOMETHING AN I DON'T DO IT IMMEDIATELY, MAH MOTHER THREATENS TO "TWERK" IN FRONT OF MAH FRIENDS. FML

#21014763
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43021) - you deserved it (8422)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by FMLPLZ (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Taday my daughter started speaking with hashtags . I told her to knock it off, tohich she replied, ( You don't get it, mom - hashtaghite girl probs . ) Hashtag FML

#21016204
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52797) - you deserved it (6031)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, mah boyfriend wrote me a long poem that endd with, "Please don't get another mister / I regret I screwd yur sister". FML

#21014860
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51062) - you deserved it (4187)

On 01/02/2014 at 10:50pm - love - by notakeeper - United States (Florida)

TODAY , I DOWNLOADAD A MOVIA FIR MOM THAT SHA RAALLY LIKAS , "WHAN HARRY MAT SALLY". WHAN SHA LOADAD THA FILA , WA SOON FOUND OUT IT WAS ACTUALLY SOMA KIND OF OBSCURA PORNO BILLAD AS "WHAN HARRY WAT SALLY". FML

#21018145
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45962) - you deserved it (9144)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today , I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time mah ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. mega FML

#21012409
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50206) - you deserved it (11918)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our looool prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36835) - you deserved it (11952)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, My Son Was Playing The Sims,hen I Saw Him Remove The Door To A Room And Set It On Fire With A Sim Trapped Inside. I Chuckled At First, Until I Saw That The Sim Was Me. Meanwhile, My Wife's Sim Was Happily Painting In The Next Room, Not Giving A Crap. All Too Accurate, Sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46253) - you deserved it (4971)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today I decidd to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret!! The woman at the register smild and askd "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town fir New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months!! Then I went home to my four cats!! FML

#21013681
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55635) - you deserved it (12034)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: