Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 20 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

#21000013
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43939) - you deserved it (11859)

On 12/21/2013 at 9:13am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

#21000521
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39378) - you deserved it (10813)

On 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

#21002970
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40084) - you deserved it (3364)

On 12/23/2013 at 9:48pm - love - by .... (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my dad's house for Christmas. Soon enough, my grandma had commented on how much weight I've gained, my aunt asked me why I'm still single, and my dad joined in by reminding me that I still haven't been accepted into college. Only three more days to go. FML

#21004056
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35367) - you deserved it (3229)

On 12/24/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by holiday from hell - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a party organised by my ex. I was the last to sit down, after looking at the nametags on all 50+ chairs. That's how I realised the chair labelled "Fuckface" was mine; the one located between her parents' seats. FML

#21006556
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39297) - you deserved it (9212) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/26/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by Puick (man) - France (Centre)

Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML

#21006865
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32892) - you deserved it (2391)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

#20996292
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36608) - you deserved it (7758)

On 12/17/2013 at 8:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML

#20998308
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36269) - you deserved it (4475)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

#21000427
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35123) - you deserved it (7913)

On 12/21/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

#21003547
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41059) - you deserved it (3675)

On 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called a pest control company to ask them to come over to my place to help get rid of rats. The person on the phone told me to "be a man and stop acting like a girl". I'm a woman. FML

#20994255
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37591) - you deserved it (3109)

On 12/16/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Mary (woman) - United States

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33828) - you deserved it (5276)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I dropped a new 50lb box of tiles. Luckily, none of the tiles broke. I'm assuming this is because my foot cushioned the fall. FML

#20998674
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37095) - you deserved it (3815)

On 12/19/2013 at 11:41pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2: School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: