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Friday 20 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML

Today, I went to my dad's house for Christmas. Soon enough, my grandma had commented on how much weight I've gained, my aunt asked me why I'm still single, and my dad joined in by reminding me that I still haven't been accepted into college. Only three more days to go. FML

#21004056
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35229) - you deserved it (3216)

On 12/24/2013 at 8:12pm - misc - by holiday from hell - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a party organised by my ex. I was the last to sit down, after looking at the nametags on all 50+ chairs. That's how I realised the chair labelled "Fuckface" was mine; the one located between her parents' seats. FML

#21006556
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37764) - you deserved it (8951) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/26/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by Puick (man) - France (Centre)

Today, a woman started giving me grief because we didn't have any Boxing Day sales. As I explained to her that dollar stores don't usually have sales, she tried to lamp me. It ended by her getting dragged out of the store. FML

#21006865
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32743) - you deserved it (2380)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54076) - you deserved it (6482)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML

#20998308
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (4456)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

#21000427
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34338) - you deserved it (7754)

On 12/21/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

#20996292
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35368) - you deserved it (7545)

On 12/17/2013 at 8:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was looking for a job. I was so desperate for gas money to drive around town that I had to steal $20 from my sister. She's only 10 years old. FML

#20997840
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35776) - you deserved it (19891)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:12am - money - by tp2014 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33690) - you deserved it (5260)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I dropped a new 50lb box of tiles. Luckily, none of the tiles broke. I'm assuming this is because my foot cushioned the fall. FML

#20998674
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36919) - you deserved it (3798)

On 12/19/2013 at 11:41pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Ohio)

Today, in a desperate attempt to add some variety to my life, I resorted to closing my eyes and picking a random font for my essay paper. FML

#20998799
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31364) - you deserved it (7037)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

#21003547
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39939) - you deserved it (3575)

On 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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