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Friday 20 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

Today, my husband called me from the store, trying to decide whether or not to buy the new games console he's been wanting. I'd already purchased one and hid it, ready for Christmas Day. I couldn't talk him into not buying himself one. There goes a $500 surprise. FML

#20995972
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44789) - you deserved it (6479)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:17pm - money - by pissed (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me via Facebook. I cared more about the spelling mistakes he made than the actual message. FML

#20994896
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39067) - you deserved it (11263)

On 12/16/2013 at 5:43pm - love - by dana (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother gave me a Christmas present for the first time in 15 years: a dog. Her 16-year-old, untrained, mean dog who wears diapers. FML

Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML

#21000942
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39723) - you deserved it (7668)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I discovered my mom has been using my credit card to buy everyone's Christmas presents. FML

#20995385
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46460) - you deserved it (3533)

On 12/17/2013 at 12:02am - money - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

#21000521
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40891) - you deserved it (11235)

On 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was laying in the grass, staring into the blue sky and watching planes go by. My boyfriend snuggles down next to me; it was a sweet moment. He then told me all about how the planes above are leaving 'chem trails', and that he believes the CIA is out to mind-control us all. Right. FML

#20998520
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35971) - you deserved it (5557)

On 12/19/2013 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

#21000427
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36735) - you deserved it (8233)

On 12/21/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

#21002970
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42558) - you deserved it (3555)

On 12/23/2013 at 9:48pm - love - by .... (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

#21000013
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45570) - you deserved it (12287)

On 12/21/2013 at 9:13am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends and family said they were busy so I figured I was getting a surprise party. Nope. They all were actually busy. I spent my birthday alone. FML

#21000068
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49174) - you deserved it (3990)

On 12/21/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by 00bsg - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my car was keyed, while I was still sitting in it. FML



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