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Friday 20 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a man wearing a Santa hat stumbled out of a bar, staggered over to my car, and vomited through the open window into my lap. FML

#20999362
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38599) - you deserved it (3696)

On 12/20/2013 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, my mother was reading an annual Christmas letter from an old university friend. When she remarked that she could have married him instead of my father, I replied that she wouldn't have had me then. She then said, "Exactly, I could have had his daughter instead." FML

#21002184
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43449) - you deserved it (3616)

On 12/23/2013 at 5:44am - kids - by rejected (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my new neighbors moved in. They have a chihuahua that constantly barks all throughout the day. It makes a great addition to my other neighbors that have a rooster that goes off at sunrise every morning. FML

Today, I discovered my mom has been using my credit card to buy everyone's Christmas presents. FML

#20995385
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43431) - you deserved it (3233)

On 12/17/2013 at 12:02am - money - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my grandma came over for the holidays. She tried explaining how Santa is actually Christ reincarnated, giving presents to all the good little Christian boys and girls. She'll be staying all week. FML

#20995564
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35818) - you deserved it (4694)

On 12/17/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by not-religious (woman) - United States

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

#20996904
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37234) - you deserved it (6846)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm - love - by whereismyprince? - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw a guy in the street drawing caricatures, and I decided to pay him to do one of me. Being a caricature, I looked pretty monstrous in it. When I showed it to my mum later, she shuddered and said, "Yeah, looks just like you." FML

#20998272
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (3866)

On 12/19/2013 at 5:13pm - misc - by ;_; (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally told my father that I was picked on at college all this year over my hearing disability. When I told him one of the jokes they made about me, he burst out into an uncontrollable fit of laughter. FML

#20999250
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39625) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I guess she got bored because she started looking at her nails. FML

#21000013
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42977) - you deserved it (11619)

On 12/21/2013 at 9:13am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Florida)

Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and streets weren't completely covered in ice. Somewhere along the way I lost what little dignity I had left, along with my left shoe. FML

#21000521
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37605) - you deserved it (10264)

On 12/21/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

#21002634
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41441) - you deserved it (13097)

On 12/23/2013 at 4:10pm - money - by rainastartree - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

#21002970
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39920) - you deserved it (3358)

On 12/23/2013 at 9:48pm - love - by .... (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my mom isn't coming to see me for Christmas. Instead she'll be spending it in jail for a DUI and battery. Thank you to my cocklick of an aunt for taking a recovering alcoholic to a bar and pressuring her into relapse. FML

#21003791
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44146) - you deserved it (2888)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:48pm - misc - by jhulich (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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Friday 17 October 2014

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