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Friday 20 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized how bad my depression has gotten when I caught myself fantasizing about suicide while having sex with my husband. FML

#20994372
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58594) - you deserved it (7035)

On 12/16/2013 at 2:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

Today, a weird guy in pajama pants and a fake hair-hat kept standing by us at a concert. Everyone talked about what a creep he was. I would have too, but he was my dad. FML

#20997867
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44808) - you deserved it (4598)

On 12/19/2013 at 8:48am - misc - by sammers27 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33359) - you deserved it (8410)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

#21007435
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46203) - you deserved it (4243)

On 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by -__- (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41528) - you deserved it (4262)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, my boyfriend of five years got me a ring for Christmas. When I opened it, I was speechless and overjoyed. He then said, "It's just a ring. It doesn't mean anything." FML

#21003775
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48314) - you deserved it (5507)

On 12/24/2013 at 3:30pm - love - by Wtfbro (woman) - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time, after he repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me. He passed out halfway through. FML

#21002524
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49650) - you deserved it (6019)

On 12/23/2013 at 2:13pm - intimacy - by JoshuasGirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42665) - you deserved it (3451)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML

#20995711
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38706) - you deserved it (3418)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML

#20997770
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48299) - you deserved it (2984)

On 12/19/2013 at 4:09am - work - by wasted time - United States

Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML

#21003547
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42569) - you deserved it (3818)

On 12/24/2013 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend gave me his theory on how the world would be a better place if Hitler had won the 2nd World War. FML

#20995909
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41034) - you deserved it (6013)

On 12/17/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Well this Is Awkward (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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