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Friday 8 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope, and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51118) - you deserved it (5307)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62002) - you deserved it (4041)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43263) - you deserved it (5250)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at a grocery store, a man came up to me while I was picking out apples and whispered in my ear, "That's how Snow White died." FML

#20947922
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42585) - you deserved it (3857)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43612) - you deserved it (3268)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I watched as my grandma beat the shit out of my dad at the zoo. FML

#20948659
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45012) - you deserved it (4110)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:52am - misc - by Grandson - United States (California)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42100) - you deserved it (7881)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML

#20958646
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40614) - you deserved it (2729)

On 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm - misc - by mummer11 (woman) - Ireland

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20946325
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (52884)

On 11/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Something I said? (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

#20945220
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45807) - you deserved it (10178)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41333) - you deserved it (3759)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML

Today, I was mentioning to a coworker how there was a huge lull today in business. A young coworker then turns to me and says in a snooty tone, "I think you mean a 'lol', it's pronounced L-O-L." FML

#20953649
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42572) - you deserved it (2808)

On 11/11/2013 at 5:36am - work - by shut up. - New Zealand



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