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Friday 1 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

#20942179
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24891) - you deserved it (43008)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:27am - love - by LockedOut (man) - United States

Today, the package I've waited for months for finally arrived. It turned out it wasn't for me, but for my sister, who bought the same thing only 2 weeks ago. When I called, the company told me they received my payment, but that there were no more of the item in stock. FML

#20946407
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41237) - you deserved it (2513)

On 11/05/2013 at 12:34pm - misc - by GDubeau24 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

#20941693
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36882) - you deserved it (7034)

On 11/01/2013 at 6:47pm - work - by choke on a dick, sir (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

#20942129
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40356) - you deserved it (6616)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:06am - love - by lucy_g (woman) - United States

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

#20943896
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38177) - you deserved it (3074)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

#20946616
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35125) - you deserved it (3136)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Steiner (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

#20948987
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40837) - you deserved it (3588)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38742) - you deserved it (6884)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

#20940705
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29995) - you deserved it (8683)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I told the man my girlfriend has been cheating on me with all about her infidelity. He didn't get angry; he just said that he knew, that they were in an open relationship, and that I was pretty stupid to have not figured it out sooner. FML

#20941848
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43054) - you deserved it (5910)

On 11/01/2013 at 9:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I failed on a school presentation because I was not prepared. Apparently, the fact that my computer crapped itself and started giving off smoke last period isn't a good reason for not having my presentation prepared. FML

#20949058
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41117) - you deserved it (7970)

On 11/07/2013 at 1:42pm - misc - by pissedandcomputerless (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally got to surprise my boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? "Erm, you know I'm 32, right?" I got his age wrong. FML

#20937690
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29050) - you deserved it (33832)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17694) - you deserved it (45715)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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