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Friday 1 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37660) - you deserved it (4056)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, I broke my tooth nearly in half. On a completely unrelated note, the Jew's Harp is my new least-favorite instrument. FML

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

#20942129
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40085) - you deserved it (6595)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:06am - love - by lucy_g (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a brand new password on my phone that only my wife knows. Apparently, she thinks I've been looking at my phone more than I've been talking to her lately. FML

#20942179
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24742) - you deserved it (42756)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:27am - love - by LockedOut (man) - United States

Today, my relatives won't acknowledge my existence unless I'm posting a picture of my cat. They only talk about the cat. FML

#20946616
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33736) - you deserved it (3000)

On 11/05/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Steiner (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pouring boiling water into a cup, and I accidentally spilled it all over my hand. My mother responded by slapping me for getting water everywhere. My hand is scorched red, but thanks, I love you too, mother. FML

#20948987
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40609) - you deserved it (3575)

On 11/07/2013 at 12:12pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was watching some episodes of The Walking Dead with my boyfriend, after recently introducing him to the series. A scene involving Carl came on, and my boyfriend said, "God damn. You ever give me a kid that annoying, I'll shoot both of ya right in the head." FML

#20950616
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38096) - you deserved it (6803)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:50pm - misc - by kel (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

#20940705
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28730) - you deserved it (8432)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss came around to my way of thinking. He called our customers a "bunch of assholes" and to kick them out if they gave me trouble. When a lady began yelling at me for "setting the damn prices too high" I told her to leave. My boss soon bitched me out for being unprofessional. FML

#20941693
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36640) - you deserved it (7000)

On 11/01/2013 at 6:47pm - work - by choke on a dick, sir (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I finally got to surprise my boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? "Erm, you know I'm 32, right?" I got his age wrong. FML

#20937690
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28022) - you deserved it (32322)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17071) - you deserved it (44088)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

#20947682
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36100) - you deserved it (4329)

On 11/06/2013 at 12:27pm - work - by Wraith (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I failed on a school presentation because I was not prepared. Apparently, the fact that my computer crapped itself and started giving off smoke last period isn't a good reason for not having my presentation prepared. FML

#20949058
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40085) - you deserved it (7758)

On 11/07/2013 at 1:42pm - misc - by pissedandcomputerless (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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