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Tuesday 1 October 2013

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Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32658) - you deserved it (3937)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I got married. The officiant of the ceremony referred to me as Amanda through my ceremony. My name is Anna. FML

#20904287
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43839) - you deserved it (3837)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:54am - love - by KamiyaHaine (woman) - Singapore

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

#20905964
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40627) - you deserved it (3581)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:39pm - work - by blargh - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, I went to the gym. I tried out a new machine where you do one-arm weightlifting. I took my time to get into a good position, then set the machine to the lowest weight possible. I couldn't even lift it an inch. A bunch of buff guys nearby saw me and burst out laughing. FML

#20907125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38784) - you deserved it (5345)

On 10/04/2013 at 12:05pm - health - by likeyourboss (man) - Denmark

Today, I'm in a military academy with a strict no alcohol policy. My friends drunk call me practically every night to tell me how much fun they are having. FML

#20905471
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37334) - you deserved it (7234)

On 10/02/2013 at 11:46pm - work - by sober judge - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML

#20905582
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24100) - you deserved it (47211)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:41am - money - by wellcrap - United States (Texas)

Today, I got two pieces of mail. One was a fine for not presenting my concession card to ticket inspectors on a train. The other was my concession card. FML

#20912116
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38363) - you deserved it (3041)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:09am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - China (Shanghai)

Today, my girlfriend got mad at me because I slept on the couch last night. She also seems to have forgotten that we had an argument last night, after which she stormed into our bedroom and locked me out. FML

#20905054
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36955) - you deserved it (2794)

On 10/02/2013 at 7:16pm - love - by Couch Potato - United States (California)

Today, my paranoia got so bad that I had to physically restrain myself from aggressively confronting the kid walking behind me on the sidewalk. FML

#20909154
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34249) - you deserved it (5523)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:29am - health - by Angrily Paranoid (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my new colleagues took me up on my idea of a group night out. Perhaps they'll actually invite me along next time. FML

#20911387
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37226) - you deserved it (2800)

On 10/07/2013 at 6:51pm - work - by Loner_Lou (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I have been home sick and depressed for so long that I just found Oreo crumbs in my belly button. FML

#20911052
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34560) - you deserved it (15706)

On 10/07/2013 at 2:55pm - health - by Sadness (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was told there was a bench warrant out for my arrest because a notice to appear for jury duty was sent to my old address and I never responded. I haven't lived at my old address for 2 years. FML

#20903036
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39141) - you deserved it (3636)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:34am - misc - by novapine (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38877) - you deserved it (3291)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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