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Tuesday 1 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46928) - you deserved it (4862)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

#20904440
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45049) - you deserved it (3910)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

#20909145
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46333) - you deserved it (5027)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:20am - intimacy - by inhaler -.- - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

#20910594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21799) - you deserved it (51190)

On 10/07/2013 at 3:37am - work - by bitch (woman) - Australia

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38050) - you deserved it (3267)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

#20906371
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41464) - you deserved it (2752)

On 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML

#20905574
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33938) - you deserved it (4961)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

#20906200
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43559) - you deserved it (3431)

On 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

#20907593
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41333) - you deserved it (2987)

On 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm - misc - by ricky the sage (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter threw a tantrum in the middle of a store, all because I wouldn't buy her a pushup bra. FML

#20909114
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45982) - you deserved it (6546)

On 10/06/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

#20903010
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32579) - you deserved it (3933)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria (Wien)



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