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Tuesday 1 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I repeatedly had to ask people to please stop groping the mannequins. FML

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21835) - you deserved it (38989)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

#20910814
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27678) - you deserved it (37492)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a ticket for speeding in a school zone. The school hasn't even been built yet. FML

#20905615
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50849) - you deserved it (8960)

On 10/03/2013 at 2:23am - money - by joecool3426 (man) - United States

Today, I purposely set my phone off in class to make it seem like I had friends. FML

#20903065
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41467) - you deserved it (16147)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:18am - misc - by :/ -

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

#20910594
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (53350)

On 10/07/2013 at 3:37am - work - by bitch (woman) - Australia

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

#20901686
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41286) - you deserved it (8646)

On 09/30/2013 at 6:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after 6 months of sex, my boyfriend showered himself with praise for managing, for the first time ever, to stretch the act out to a full minute. FML

#20905202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49569) - you deserved it (5527)

On 10/02/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Sooz (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got proposed to. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and we have 2 kids. It was perfect, except it was my ex-boyfriend who proposed to me. FML

#20901818
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48002) - you deserved it (5722)

On 09/30/2013 at 10:47am - love - by courtnayy (woman) - United States

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49845) - you deserved it (5196)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38343) - you deserved it (3289)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

#20901491
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37048) - you deserved it (3010)

On 09/30/2013 at 1:01am - health - by Overworked - United States

Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML



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