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Tuesday 1 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16624) - you deserved it (110377)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49925) - you deserved it (13372)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

#20910133
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44755) - you deserved it (3055)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm - kids - by TeddyBearKiller (woman) - United States

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

#20907982
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22672) - you deserved it (50354)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, and for the fifth week in a row, my dad has been moping around and acting pissy about everything because his psycho girlfriend won't talk to him. He now claims his life is over. I'm being raised by a teenage girl. FML

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

#20903281
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42221) - you deserved it (3422)

On 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60612) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML

#20909568
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47643) - you deserved it (3680)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by D: (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40512) - you deserved it (24656)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dad asked me to stop calling him "dad" because it’s too weird for his girlfriend’s kids to hear, because they call him dad. FML

#20901637
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54914) - you deserved it (2663)

On 09/30/2013 at 4:04am - kids - by meens42 - United States

Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML

#20903082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45482) - you deserved it (11364)

On 10/01/2013 at 6:47am - intimacy - by whatdoesitmatter (woman) - India (Tamil Nadu)

Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML

#20907968
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46492) - you deserved it (3308)

On 10/05/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by CelibateHero (man) - United States (Indiana)



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