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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

#20888617
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42923) - you deserved it (2908)

On 09/20/2013 at 1:52am - misc - by wat - United States (California)

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44363) - you deserved it (7251)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39967) - you deserved it (3319)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

#20885188
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43415) - you deserved it (3585)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

#20886445
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41810) - you deserved it (2833)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

#20886516
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40667) - you deserved it (4734)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:55pm - health - by GogurtBadass - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49071) - you deserved it (4053)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML

#20889249
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38082) - you deserved it (3580)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:20pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41704) - you deserved it (6519)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50839) - you deserved it (5916)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, one of my online friends told me he's bought a plane ticket, so he can come visit me. I've told him multiple times before that I'm uncomfortable with this idea, but he keeps telling me to stop joking, and reminding me that he'll have no other place to stay. FML

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43904) - you deserved it (5332)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

#20877588
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46475) - you deserved it (2551)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm - work - by icanteven - United States (Kentucky)



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