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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I officially became a divorced marriage counselor. FML

#20877295
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44308) - you deserved it (7243)

On 09/11/2013 at 5:35pm - work - by natattack - United States (Texas)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39913) - you deserved it (3309)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

#20886445
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41759) - you deserved it (2832)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

#20886516
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40618) - you deserved it (4732)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:55pm - health - by GogurtBadass - United States (Washington)

Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML

#20887597
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36235) - you deserved it (3485)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by CapitolSouthSux (woman) - United States

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47734) - you deserved it (3910)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41653) - you deserved it (6514)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50699) - you deserved it (5909)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

#20885188
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43358) - you deserved it (3584)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was struggling to move a large bookshelf downstairs. Mid-way down, the weight became too much for me and I desperately yelled to my dad for help. He stood at the top of the stairs and said, "Cash or broken bones. How much's it worth, son?" I'm now £50 poorer. FML

#20889249
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38016) - you deserved it (3579)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:20pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML

#20874413
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43836) - you deserved it (5328)

On 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

#20877588
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46414) - you deserved it (2546)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm - work - by icanteven - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

#20881196
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20045) - you deserved it (48440)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:47pm - love - by 181999 - United States (Vermont)



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