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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40509) - you deserved it (2483)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought that an ingenious way to protest against high tuition prices would be to steal a box of soymilk from my university dining hall. The box exploded in my backpack. Not only did I lose all my soymilk, I now have replace my $120 calculator. FML

#20886247
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14737) - you deserved it (61006)

On 09/18/2013 at 4:46am - money - by Stupid (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

#20887417
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43242) - you deserved it (3774)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Sua - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39172) - you deserved it (2834)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia

Today, at my first day on the job, a customer threatened my life because our vending machine had run out of Doritos. FML

#20880018
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39644) - you deserved it (2973)

On 09/13/2013 at 7:13pm - work - by Anonynommer (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

#20886799
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you deserved it (4289)

On 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

#20888878
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18955) - you deserved it (43618)

On 09/20/2013 at 11:33am - misc - by BabeRuth (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

#20874035
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49297) - you deserved it (5356)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:15am - intimacy - by merpaderp14 (woman) - Canada

Today, I found out the hard way that my boyfriend and mother have been sending each other sexually-explicit picture messages. FML

Today, every time I write the word "analyst," I can't help but giggle because it begins with "anal." I'm 24, and studying to be a conflict analyst. FML

#20886867
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19887) - you deserved it (30222)

On 09/18/2013 at 6:59pm - work - by Sunny (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a man at the comic book store I work at asked me if Spider-Man is based on a real story, and verbally abused me when, thinking he was joking, I laughed. He wasn't. FML

#20887394
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34018) - you deserved it (3058)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:35am - work - by some people... - United States

Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML

#20887597
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36276) - you deserved it (3488)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by CapitolSouthSux (woman) - United States



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