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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

#20886799
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41171) - you deserved it (4558)

On 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

#20880767
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39063) - you deserved it (2824)

On 09/14/2013 at 11:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48856) - you deserved it (3387)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that my parrots now can shit horizontally when I found the wall next to the cage covered in feces. FML

Today, my English teacher handed back my creative story assignment with a 74% on it. Apparently, she docked 10% because I had an unrealistic, overly dramatic plot line. That plot line was based on my life. FML

#20887417
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45088) - you deserved it (3982)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:15am - work - by Sua - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to show my daughter where the USA is on a map. She's 17, and we live in the USA. FML

#20889279
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44836) - you deserved it (10259)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decided to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She started making fun of the computer for spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

#20886445
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44125) - you deserved it (3004)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out my extremely anti-war relatives hate me because they think I served in the Army, after hearing I was "a vet". I'm a veterinarian. FML

#20876113
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46562) - you deserved it (2898)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:30pm - work - by the next james herriot (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML

#20889155
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50940) - you deserved it (3796)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML

#20886516
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43144) - you deserved it (5073)

On 09/18/2013 at 12:55pm - health - by GogurtBadass - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

#20876882
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44221) - you deserved it (6834)

On 09/11/2013 at 10:16am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my 16-year-old cousin came to visit for the week. So far, she's said "raunchy", "cray-cray", "legit", and "like" an uncountable number of times. She's only been here for a half hour. FML

#20881272
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42236) - you deserved it (3509)

On 09/14/2013 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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