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Saturday 14 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

#20881873
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41263) - you deserved it (2789)

On 09/15/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by sleeplessinrichmond - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44703) - you deserved it (4082)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

#20877954
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41010) - you deserved it (6418)

On 09/12/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39451) - you deserved it (12708)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, thanks to Grand Theft Auto, I found myself seriously thinking about holding up an armored bank truck when I saw it in traffic. FML

#20889286
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20439) - you deserved it (36371)

On 09/20/2013 at 6:52pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate unexpectedly came home with a new puppy. I'm severely allergic to dogs. When I reminded her of this, she explained that the puppy was her family now and if I didn't like it I should move out because blood is thicker than water. My roommate is my sister. FML

#20875920
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49244) - you deserved it (3173)

On 09/10/2013 at 5:02pm - animals - by RoommateWanted (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46507) - you deserved it (2450)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

#20878038
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40659) - you deserved it (2962)

On 09/12/2013 at 3:42am - work - by hawkwardd - Australia

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

#20889160
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49339) - you deserved it (4074)

On 09/20/2013 at 5:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

#20886188
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36850) - you deserved it (11036)

On 09/18/2013 at 2:19am - health - by I get the hint -

Today, my girlfriend is upset with me for not wanting to sext. I can't sext with her because she adds 'lol' to everything which turns me off. FML

#20879249
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53772) - you deserved it (6243)

On 09/13/2013 at 2:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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