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Saturday 14 September 2013

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Today, while sorting through my clothes, I found one of my ex's old sweaters. After a lot of thought and difficulty, I threw it out. I felt empowered, until my father later rifled through my trash and claimed the sweater for himself. FML

by gemtas5 / 09/21/2013 at 1:28pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Love

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I spent all of last night preparing, researching the company, and making sure everything was perfect. My interview was for 8am. I woke up at 10:30 to an alarm that had not gone off. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2013 at 1:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML

Today, my boss decided that we no longer have to clock out for cigarette breaks, but we do for toilet breaks. I'm the only non-smoker on my floor, and I'm getting penalised for it. FML

by Anon / 09/18/2013 at 1:48pm / United Kingdom / Work

Today, my boyfriend and best friend decided to "help" by assembling my new front porch while I was away. Ecstatic, they displayed their handiwork. It's charming how the porch is precariously balanced, it leans in such a way that it appears it will fall over if you walk through the front door. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 4:20am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss took me to one side and said, "Cross me like that ever again, and you're fired." I have no clue what he was talking about, and he denies ever having said a word to me. FML

by what... / 09/15/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2013 at 3:35am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I realized I pay $160/month to get two texts a day. One from my bank telling me how much I have, one for my credit card telling me how much I owe. FML

by BeautifulChaos27 / 09/17/2013 at 7:56pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 12:02am / United States / Kids

Today, I forgot my blind date's name 3 times during our conversation. FML

by lola1313 / 09/17/2013 at 10:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, a co-worker described, in vivid detail in the middle of the office, how he dribbles after peeing, and often has a burning sensation. FML

by out_of_my_head / 09/19/2013 at 5:55am / United States / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my colleagues and I found out that our boss has been taking business advice from an astrologer as well as a soothsayer. FML

by CrystalsDontWork / 09/18/2013 at 2:34am / United States (Texas) / Work